Lights, Camera, Action

It's Done!

Fri, 21 Dec 2007 04:24:03 GMT

The film's done! You can get it here.

It's also on Youtube, but the quality hardly compares to the full h264 version on MegaUpload. Go see, though, and leave a comment! :)

Strangers : The Final Project

Sun, 09 Dec 2007 18:34:14 GMT

Yay! Status of my final project : shooting completed!

I would very much love to start cutting and editing already, except there are matters that call for prior attention, like essays and finals. GAH.
Back home final weeks of school were absolutely fun since there was never anything to do. Taking tests during the last few days is new to me....

I haven't come up with a title for the film yet, but it'll probably be Strangers, since the song I'm using for it has the same title. And I have this thing
for titles with only one word in them. Or insanely long titles. I like extremes. I have heaps of ideas in mind, including time-lapse photography (or,
at least, a faking of it since I'm not allowed to use moving footage) in the beginning and tons of superimpositions. I figure I might have to do a few
reshoots to get what I really want but I'm not too stressed out about it since I won't start editing till tomorrow anyway. So I have the whole of
tomorrow... after 12:15pm to shoot all I want. Please pray for me! And do continue to support me!

p.s. now that I've found out how much fun making films with still cameras can be, I just might continue doing that back home..........

Sat, 04 Aug 2007 08:42:06 GMT

My active blog is located here: http://gray-eider.blogspot.com
So do go there for updates and blah. I'm tired of copying posts there and pasting them here.
Thank you for um, dropping by :)

who needs you? i've got god.

Wed, 11 Oct 2006 13:40:28 GMT

Why's everyone seem to be blogging about friends all of a sudden?
Latest trend? PMS? Maybe fall's a very emo season?
June, Nadia, Kin Yan, Meng Jern, Julie, Prakash, Ali.

It's like everyone's out to get me. I knew the world was
a cruel place, but I never thought it'd be so bad.

Friends come, and friends go.
Moods swing up and down.
But God does none of that.

Friends come, and friends go.
With time I come to realise
that God is all I have
and that God is all I need.

And that's saying something.

selfish me loves him

Tue, 10 Oct 2006 10:48:31 GMT

You know, I manage a very SELF-ish blog. =) My entries are always about myself. Without a doubt. Why in the world would I want to waste my time blogging
about what other people did? If they want to remember the things they did, let them go and create their own blogs or diaries. This is my blog. What I see,
hear and feel throughout the day I record here. And more personal entries are saved as drafts, not published. This is my online diary.

I had a dream about him yesterday. Strangely enough, we (me and him and a bunch of other acquaintances) were checked in at the same hotel. He
saved me from a friend in my hotel room, and I was so overcome with all sorts of emotions that I burst into tears. He insisted I go to sleep, and assured
me that he would wait there until I went to sleep. I never did fall asleep. But when he thought I did, and whispered goodnight before getting up to
leave, I grabbed his hand tight. And in the corner of my eye a tear glistened.

In all my dreams lately I've been seeing myself in the third person. It's like I'm directing a movie about myself. It felt awkward at first, but I am familiar
with the point of view now. I have grown accustomed to seeing myself, as though I am a pair of invisible eyes somewhere in that vicinity, watching
every scene unravel. I am the camera lens, capturing and taking everything in.

Sometimes I see myself doing terrible things. And my dreams are so real that when I wake up in the morning, I can't seem to shake off the bad vibes
hanging around me. I look at my hands and think, "These hands did terrible things. I can't believe I still use them to shake hands and stroke little kids' heads."

The old split-personality syndrome is starting to act up again. My memories of my childhood have been altered to such a great degree that I cannot trust
what I remember. I know I cannot trust my memories. I don't know the truth anymore. All I've got is a completely fabricated childhood, one I know
is made up of lie after lie. And I'm too afraid to know what my real childhood was like. I don't want to shatter the images I so carefully sculpted.

But where university applications are concerned, there is no time for dual personalities. There is only one En that will get that place in NYU - and I know
which one. And unless I live the life of that En to the max, as the saying goes, I will not be a very whole person - in a sense.

Ahhhh, but it's such a chore! Insomnia 24/7 is not a good thing. I only had a few hours of sleep this morning, from about 3 am - 6 am. The night before I
got no sleep at all. I cannot seem to stop worrying about whether or not I'll be going to university.

Stupid infatuation! Stupid applications!

Academic stress aside - Yong Yong challenged me. Okay, personally I wouldn't call it a challenge, since it's pretty much what I've been meaning to do
anyway. She said this:

"Don't fall for anyone else for a year. Remain in your smitten-by-that-guy state till he comes back for the summer holidays and we'll know it's real."

It's fairly easy to continue loving someone who is generally very lovable. But to keep from having feelings for someone else - well, Yong's a smart girl.
Even without me having to tell her, she discovered the ONE thing that determines whether or not I fall for a person. Just one thing. You may be
thinking, then, "Aiyoh, one thing only, sure hard la!" but it's not a very uncommon one thing. =) Whether or not you can find out what is a different
matter altogether-lah.

But Yong laughed right before she put down the phone - because of what I said in reply: "Yong, I've never known anyone quite as nice-loh. And
before he came along, I had never agreed that anyone should be called The World's Best Boyfriend."

Yes. And now I know that there are some of you reading this, in whose minds something has snapped or a chord has been struck, who are now going,
"Oh my goodness!!! Is En serious!?" because you have just figured out who I have a crush on. =)

Dropping hints is nothing big. After all, hints or not, for some reason or other news about who I like always gets out without my knowing.

DOWN WITH THE MANNSCHAFT!!!

Sat, 01 Jul 2006 09:17:22 GMT

Boo hoo hoo!!!

I am beyond inconsolable.

Today I am sad. For the next few days I will be enveloped in gloom for several reasons...

+ Pekerman's BAD decisions - taking the main man, Riquelme, off and playing Cambiasso in his place; replacing Crespo with Cruz when he had an array of talents before him (Messi, Aimar and Saviola); and playing Franco as goalkeeper instead of Lux or Ustari.
+ Abbondanzieri's injury, sustained when #@$%^# Klose crashed into him... which led to Klose's equaliser half an hour later.
+ all the yellow cards and fouls the referee (Lubos Michel) issued to the Argentinean players VERY unfairly
+ Franco's failure to save Argentina in the penalty shootout (he fell for two feints, ARGH!!!)
+ Sorin's double yellow card
+ not having been able to watch darlings Messi and Aimar (my two favourite players) play

Did you see how fast Tevez was running yesterday? He was moving twice as fast as anyone else on his team. I was a little pissed off that the Albiceleste were moving so languidly, but after Ayala's goal (after a trademark series of passes that seemed to go on forever), I was convinced that the players were doing the right thing. Then my eyes were opened and I saw the beauty of South American football (which was very much apparent in the thrashing of Serbia & Montenegro).

And then Klose had to go and crash into Abbon. He should've been yellow-carded for that. There were several instances where I believe the German players should have been issued yellow cards immediately, but they were let off with a whistle. The Argentineans were unfairly refereed. When my dad said, "Haish. Typical lah. All this Argentineans - they all play dirty," I let out a huge yell.

Michael Ballack - you will pay for provoking Tevez. Schweinsteiger, you too will pay for fouling Sorin and making it look like it was the other way round. And you too, Friedrich, and Klose, and Lahm, and Odonkor, and everyone of you playing for the German side. Down with the Mannschaft! (Is that what they're called, or is the name longer than that?)

Oh, and if you haven't been keeping up with the news, Pekerman's quit. Fine, so he made a couple of REALLY bad calls yesterday (that led to the heartbreaking defeat of Argentina's best side in over ten years), but he's still a really good coach, in my opinion. He led Argentina to three Fifa World Youth victories, and thanks to his coaching, Argentina made it all the way to the quarters instead of getting kicked home like they did in 2002. He was the one who brought in a whole bunch of FIFA Youth players to the national team. He gave us the splendid opportunity to watch talents like Aimar, Messi, Tevez, Rodriguez and Saviola.

I wonder who Argentina's next coach will be. I wonder how Argentina will perform under him. I hope he realises that even though South American football is all about passing and moving around to create space, Argentina needs to move a lot faster than they have been doing if he's going to help them win the next World Cup. I pray that if Germany win the World Cup (though I pray for this not to happen), Lehmann will continue to shine for Arsenal by not conceding any goals.

I wonder what'll become of the Albiceleste once Abbon and Sorin are gone because of old age. I wonder if Messi will get more playing time to show off his skills. I wonder what sort of hairstyle Tevez will don next time. I wonder if Aimar's married. I wonder if Rodriguez realises that he and Tevez look like twins, when they have the same hairstyle.

Sighhhh. I need a drink. I need another Argentinean fan to talk to. SOMEONE!!! ANYONE!!!

why i think i suck

Sun, 07 May 2006 07:37:04 GMT

Karen always says excuses are stupid.

So take what I said in my previous post as a stupid excuse, and start hurling all sorts of insults (that you really mean, of course) at the pictures I took. Constructive criticism builds confidence and character (wow, that's a lotta C-words in one sentence), and encouragement makes potential strengths go a long way. There have been a few people I met in the past who have greatly encouraged and changed me in different ways - one taught me how to have a positive outlook on life, one brought me to smile more, one taught me to have an even firmer hold on what I strongly believe in (this is subjective - it has both pros and cons), and one taught me how to choose my friends wisely. And one more is still trying to teach me that above all, it is you who makes you you.

I know it sounds simple and cliched, but the way I see it, there is a much deeper, more profound meaning behind that statement. For as much as we understand that we are masters of our own decisions, we must readily admit that we are swayed by the influence of others, as a reed is shaken violently with each gust of wind. Sorry if this sounds a little over-poetic - I don't really know what I'm saying. There is something I want to get across but I'm having a lot of difficulty putting it down in words. So forgive me. Contrary to the reed-in-the-wind analogy, however, I am not so easily influenced by what others say (feedback from certain people are exceptions) but I have had for a long time a very negative mindset. And this is what is preventing me from moving forward.

I influence myself too easily.

how y'all been

Mon, 01 May 2006 13:19:42 GMT

It's been a trying, tiring three days for me. Once in Form 4, I attempted to go two whole days without sleeping - I was mugging for a final exam - and ended up sitting for a Chemistry paper with dark, black rings under my eyes and a noticeable air of sleepiness. That evening I went home, plonked myself on my mattress and went to sleep almost immediately. I didn't wake up till the next morning, and by then it was too late to cram for the Biology paper. I got Ds for both papers.

On Friday, after Nisita and Amir left, I got to work on the layouts for the CIMP album. Barely twenty minutes passed before I got a call from Chwen Yang, who wanted my help with a project he was doing. Gadzooks. I had to write an essay on the downsides of being a female. I was pretty bogged down with work to do, but I obligingly agreed to it anyway, and spent the next 60 - 100 minutes writing that essay. Short and simple - I kept telling myself that, but what I sent to Chwen Yang was a 2000-word essay. *shrug*

I was up till around 4 am, doing what people say all women do best - multi-tasking. I had Wei Shiarn's essay to correct, articles to write for the yearbook, promotional videos to edit (for Hizuguri), layouts to create and songs to compose. Wei Shiarn's essay had to come first, of course. I think I've corrected about ten essays to date. I'm tired. This editing business is sickening - but only because the essays I received had ~~signs of zero IQ~~ countless grammatical errors in them. I don't mean to say that I can write a hundred essays without going wrong anywhere - but hey, I don't write one essay and go wrong everywhere.

Some essays were written in reasonably good English... but lacked content. All the essays I was asked to edit stayed true to this inference - English proficiency, inversely proportional to thinking skills. I am annoyed because I used the term inversely proportional in my previous post, but... oh well, for lack of another word (not a better word, because here I can't even think of another term that means the same thing, that this can be compared to).

Correcting essays gives me a splitting head-ache. But I still do it because I feel I am obliged to help my classmates and boost their progress. If no one makes those corrections, how will they know whether they're right or wrong?

Yet, it is precisely for that reason that I do not want to be an English teacher. Ever.

Yesterday, no, today, I went to bed at 6 am and got up at 8 am. I dozed off during Bible class, and fell asleep again during Chee Leong's sermon, even after having energetically played the piano for P & W.

It's already the 1st of May and my essay is still unfinished. I sent it to Li-Ann in the evening, and she unmercifully ripped apart every single, carefully thought out argument I had. I felt so bad I cried. Yesterday Mr Tan pointed out that editing a lot of essays granted me an advantage over the other students. He refused to agree with me when I said, "I am a lousy writer." That made me *sort of* want to believe in myself a bit more. Fine. Maybe. But after today's great butchering...

Egad, I don't even feel like writing the essay anymore.

... because truthfully, I never know what to think of my writing. I may write something and smile while doing it, pleased with my words - but once I'm done with the whole thing, I read it again and think, "Argh, I did a horrible job. I butchered my own essay!!!" In secondary school, I fooled my teachers with fancy words and Pratchett-style writing, but I highly doubt Mr Tan is as gullible as those under whose tutelage I was before. Just yesterday he told me that my essay on the death of manliness wasn't my best essay. Instinctively, I responded by asking him which of my essays was the best. He said, "Yet to come."

Then Jun SMS-ed me to say that he didn't pick my promo-poster for Hizuguri. He said it was too black, and that he was sick of the colour black. He also said that the drawing wasn't classy enough... and reeled off a looooong list of complaints. I don't normally feel as though it's the end of the world when I get reprimanded or criticised, but if I'm being criticised in everything I do at a point in time, it gets to be too much. Criticism that comes from people whom I really, really look to please hurts all the more.

That's why my working speed hasn't been at its usual pace this year. I've been slow in coming up with posters for Hizuguri. My hands have been writing essays laggardly. My brain has been working at one-tenth of the speed it used to.

... and that's why I've been getting really upset each time someone has something bad to say about the stuff I do - my piano-playing, my graphics-editing, my CG-ing, my after-school activities, my manner of speech, my writing, my... everything.

The question is not about who I am, but why I am. Why is this happening to me?

It doesn't help that there are people who think the Editorial Board should be allowed to vanish into nothingness; that trying to revive Malaysia Praise Orchestra is a waste of time; that film studies is stupid; that Open Canvas is for suckers.

My mind is now swamped with all sorts of thoughts, my heart full to bursting with a whole bunch of emotions. I can't even think straight! I don't know when I should say please, and I don't know what merits a thank you. I can't tell a compliment from an insult. I don't know if I should see things Mr Tan's way or Li-Ann's way. It's hard to argue back when the one complaining is a student of the National University of Singapore, a Silverfish : New Writing contributor and a winner of many writing competitions. Then again, it is also hard to go against your own English teacher, especially if he holds a Master's degree.

I CAN'T STAND THIS ANYMORE!!!

So many things bothering me and moving me towards the edge of my cliff. But what bugs me more than anything is this whole writing business. When have I ever said I hate writing? Never. But as I spoke to Li-Ann online and she delivered another of her long, philosophical-in-nature speeches, I just died. Everything died. My essay died. As I scanned through my essay once more, I thought, "This has got to be the worst essay ever."

So I'm back to square one - I'm just fooling everyone - you and all the other readers. None of my essays are good - they just look good on the surface. I thought I was on the right track; that I was finally getting around to writing proper essays - but someone obviously didn't think so.

My answer to the question, "Why do you write?" ... is, "I don't know."

* I'm such a selfish little prat.

** WTF. I wrote this in 17 minutes.

i have shifted

Sun, 15 Jan 2006 15:17:41 GMT

Sorry to not have informed you of my switch back to Blogspot. I abandoned my old Blogspot blog for a while, and I decided some time ago to return to it because I preferred its layout. In other words, this LJ will henceforth become... well, dormant. Inactive. I may post stuff here occasionally, but not for any particular reason. Maybe for testing and stuff.

Visit my new blog at gray-eider.

red-and-white stripes, not my thing

Thu, 01 Sep 2005 03:57:22 GMT

No, I’m not talking about that little DKNY shirt mum got for me that makes me look five times rounder than I already am. I am referring to the stripes that don the Malaysian flag – the ones that symbolize strength (red) and purity (white). At least that’s what I think the words are in English. It was Patriotism Day in school today, and I declined to go to school because I simply didn’t want to be subject to the torture that came in wearing a cheongsam to school, sitting on the floor in the hall for hours on end, listening to spirited talks about loving thine own country and singing songs of patriotism and stuff like that. I’d done that thrice already in all my four-and-a-half years at CBN, and I most definitely didn’t want to go through it again. I stayed at home today and studied and watched several episodes of Excel Saga (nothing like good ol’ Excel angst and humour to brighten up even the bluest day) before going back to studying again. Oh, and I stuffed myself silly with peanut butter sandwiches too. I don’t know what got into me. It was probably the excitement of actually stumbling upon peanut butter from China that contained less than 100kC per 100g that drove me to gobble nearly half the bottle down, swiping crackers and toast to go with it. Laughing Cow cheese spread and Smuckers’ low-fat apricot spread were added to the glutton’s meal, and I savoured each mouthful with relish. Nothing like good ol’ PBJ sandwiches to put a smile on the face of a girl deprived of good food. I felt horrible after that, needless to say, but I actually managed to keep myself from throwing up like I’d normally have done. I got a bout of diarrhea later from the kiwi I had earlier in the afternoon, though. I had kai lan for dinner, and some tnu kar and fish in sweet-and-sour sauce with carrots, Ningsay’s special dish – and my favourite. I really sound like I’m typing out some sort of food review – from the start of the paragraph I’ve talked about nothing but food. I bought me a packet of M&M’s before Physics tuition – it’s in the fridge now, and I plan to eat it later.

Xian’s been watching Naruto, and I’ve watched a couple of episodes with her. I remember the time Naruto was first aired. Everyone was talking about it. Most of the AK forum members (the senior ones, especially, the mods and the like) disliked it, though, so just to go along with them, I said it sucked too. But I didn’t really know what I was talking about then. But I watched a bit of Naruto on online TV some years back and a few more episodes in Nagoya while I was staying with the Umezus... and I came to realize that it was just as they said – it sucked. I don’t mean to say that it is altogether terrible. It is a good story, but the TV series made out of it wasn’t doing the comic justice. A bit of suspense is all right in shows, but in Naruto, the scenes tend to drag on for far too long – and although repetitions may be all right off and on, the abundance of them in Naruto makes the show even more annoying. I had some difficulty actually getting used to the voices of Sasuke and Sakura, as they were too mature-sounding for such young kids. I also despised the way the good guys kept getting stronger while Itachi didn’t. The author definitely did a good job in ensuring that some of the good characters were put out of action or were lured over to the dark side (like Rock and Sasuke), but another aspect countered that, which I didn’t particularly like – how they were brought back so easily. I mean, it was all very heartbreaking and tear-jerking when Rock lost the use of his powers, but he healed in a way I hoped impossible. The fight scenes in Naruto also weren’t very impressive – for one, some of their techniques seemed to be utterly pointless (Tsunade’s slug may have been inconceivably powerful, but summoning frogs?), and I was glad when Jiraiya came along and taught Naruto some new stuff. Anyhow, my sister managed to talk me into watching some episodes of Naruto with her, and though I have spent many nights staying up till the wee hours of the morning watching chuunin, genin and shinobi kick each others arses, I have not come to the point of liking Naruto. It will be a very long time before I become a Naruto fan (maybe eternity). Maybe I’m being too critical. But when you’ve watched things like Inu Yasha, Samurai Champloo and Recca No Honou, Naruto becomes just another one of those fighting shows for kids... and the techniques all seem replicated and ripped off from elsewhere, y’know???

Oh, my. I can’t believe I forgot. I got my new glasses. *grins* They’re rectangular and dark silver in colour, though Miss Leong, my optometrist, calls them gun-black. They’re pretty spiffy, and they make me look like the female boss of some law firm. I like them. I actually wanted the black glasses everyone’s sporting these days, but I finally decided that it wouldn’t do to have something everyone else does, so I opted for these, since I haven’t seen anyone wearing anything like them. I’ve seen red, blue, black and brown, but no silver. I might start a new trend in school! =) When you don’t have a choice on what clothes you get to wear to school, you can only be a trendsetter in accessories and little knick-knacks. There was a time when everyone was into the fat spongy Ripcurl pencil case. Then everyone started carrying Roxy bags to school. Then came the flower-shaped ear rings. Now it’s the thick-rimmed glasses, which are probably the trend in lots of other places... though I think CBN’s got the most number of girls with those glasses, if I may say so myself. Unfortunately, my digital camera’s spoilt... which means I can’t take any pictures of myself in these glasses to post online till the cammy’s fixed. Groan. Pity, pity. I’ve grown so accustomed to seeing myself in them that I think I look weird when I take them off. It was the same with my old glasses, except that they were hideous, and that’s a fact. I don’t know why I even bought them. I’m glad I’ve changed the frame. My dad kicked up a fuss when I told him why I’d gotten my spectacles-frame changed – I suppose once you’ve overshot 30, making sure everything you own looks good doesn’t really matter so much. Or it could be that my dad only cares for himself. I don’t know. He seems to get displeased when I take time to spruce or polish myself up and spend longer than usual getting ready for a big event. But he didn't complain when Ah Mah came home later and said that she'd changed her glasses, too. Guess you can't tell off your parents for some things. =P

I’m pretty overwhelmed with the number of entries we got from Japan this year pertaining to AAC’s intake. Nearly 80% of this year’s candidates (I say candidates because they were picked from those who applied earlier in the year) are Japanese. That’s all right, I suppose, but it may mean that we’ll have to hold our meetings in Japan more often from now on. That may prove a problem for some people... like me. My parents will kill me. Of the 6 meetings Olympia has called in Japan, I’ve only been to 2 of them. There have also been meetings involving the whole of AAC, which I have not been able to attend too. Anyhow, we remembered to let in more guys this year, a plus sign, since AAC is lacking guys. A good number of AAC’s members are girls, thanks to increasingly sexist groups like OniGr3A+, *song*, [flame] and S.K.Y. Wei En and the rest are going to make sure only guys get into Piko Tenshi this year (from the list of candidates, I mean). I mean, poor Shin! He needs company, the poor guy. Also, some girls from South-East Asia requested to join [MIYUKE] – it’s just too bad they’ll have to be rejected (like, when will they learn that the group's supposed to only consist of Li-Ann, Wei En and I!?). Min let some of them through, though, since she’s considering getting them to join the other groups if they shine. I’ve gone through most of the submissions and personal statements from the latest band of candidates, and there are a few outstanding ones who I am sure will be joining Olympia next year – Alistair Medine, Komatsu Shinji, Kwon Ji-Eun, Lisa Foong, Wataru Sena, Stephen Walker and Haruno Kazuya. Of the seven mentioned, most of us have agreed that Ji-Eun is by far the most skilled artist, and Sena showed a lot of promise in her coloring skills (and she’s got a brilliant CV to boost). We got a lot of good words concerning Alistair, though, and according to Dave, who met up with him, he seems to be a pretty nice guy. Great - now I can look forward to getting free German lessons! As an update, Sena and Kazuya are definitely in. =) Also, some bad (good?) news for fans of AAC. The company will disband next August, and split up to form several new larger groups. Just a spoiler : we will go under the names of Hysteric Green, Silver Canvas, Art Magicians and TIMEOUT. If you can guess who's going to be in each of these groups you get a special prize... I do believe some information that was supposed to have been top secret got circulated. Anyhow, that's that. The split-up will not involve everyone, which means there will still be those remaining in AAC (which may or may not be renamed)... but we've all agreed that it's for the best, and running and management will also become a lot easier. And... there will definitely be a little hostility and competition between the members, but that's all part of business. I certainly do hope you continue to support us in the future, though! =)

Another new penpal for me. Listen to me – if you’re looking for a penpal from across the world, go get an Asian one, preferably Japanese. This has got nothing to do with the fact that I am very much attached to Japan – from experience, I can honestly say that Japanese penpals are the most loyal and the best friends to have. They don’t just give up on you and suddenly stop sending you e-mails. They’re always glad to keep in touch with you, and if they’re going to be busy, they tell you beforehand and apologize profusely. If they forget to e-mail you and you send them a reminder or a message of some sort, they usually reply almost immediately saying how sorry they are and stuff like that. At least they give a damn, you know? Some people couldn’t give two flying f*cks about how you feel after not receiving anything from them after a long while. It’s like going, “Oh, I’m bored of you, I think I’ll stop sending you stuff.” Gee. Makes you want to punch their guts out, doesn’t it? In relation to that, I haven’t received anything from Ka Ti, Thien Anh, Shu or Marc for some time now. On the other hand, I still get e-mails from Yuka, Rie, Yuki and Akari. Recently I made friends with Yumeko via MSN, and she promised to send me an e-mail when she got back from Canada (which should’ve been yesterday). Guess I’ll go check my mail tomorrow or something, when I have the time. I also received an e-mail from Elske this morning. Yippee!! Haven't heard from her in some time. I wonder if Maiko's still busy with school and stuff. Anyhow, like I said before, it’s really fun corresponding with all of them. You get to make friends and learn a lot about other countries' cultures and traditions and languages (if you want). And checking your mail becomes a hell lot more of a joyous occasion. =P

Hachimitsu & CLOVER is good as ever! I am currently up to Episode 18, and I will catch Episode 19 soon... via online TV, since Solar is taking ages to come out with a subbed version of even Ep 18. Thank God Shinobu is back! I was starting to cry my eyes out at night over his disappearance. Once I’m done with this series, I’ll start paying full attention to my studies. I hope to catch Blood+ once SPM is over, and finish watching Suzuka before it becomes outdated. My plans for this December include going for advanced Japanese classes (figure I’ll do German in university or something), take up aikido and kickboxing and learn how to cook edible meals. Dad’s such a fuddy-duddy. He keeps suggesting stuff for me to do. I still remember the time he said, “Why don’t you learn the cello?” and I said, “That sounds all right, but I really want to learn the viola.” In the end, I ended up learning neither. Then he said, “How about taking badminton lessons?” This was because I was playing for my school and I needed some coaching. I was pretty keen on the idea, so I agreed – but he never called the coach. Not too long ago he suggested I take up jazz classes, and I told him that sounded good, and that I’d get my cousin to teach me. But he mentioned a guy from my church (who, frankly, I don’t want as my teacher), and we got into an argument and I don’t think I’ll be taking jazz classes under anyone after all. Then he told me I should take up aikido and I immediately voiced my eagerness. I don’t do much martial arts save for some karate and well, ninjutsu, and aikido will probably boost my skills a lot more. Not only that, I’d probably lose some weight going for all those classes. Add that to kickboxing and I’ll be a killing machine in under a year. *cackle* Oh well. First things first, though. I’ll start dwelling on all that once the SPM’s over.

Till then.

more quiz results. =)

Fri, 26 Aug 2005 04:16:48 GMT

Gee. Wishing I'd gotten Kakashi or Anko instead. (T_T)

You're Sasuke! You are so cool that people hate you because you are soooooo cool. You live only to kill your brother, Itachi. Your past is rough but it still can't compare to Naruto. Damn that bastard. You are fighting to become stronger, but since this is what you quest for, you sometimes go to the dark side. Watch out for that Orochimaru, he's gonna take your body! Oops, spoiler... Overall, you are sort of a jerk, but you have a reason to be. Go you!

... Actually, I prefer Itachi to Sasuke because of his cool red eyes. And the cooler clothes. But what the heck. Both brothers are hot. And I don't like this show. =__=

You're arrogant, but you've got the goods to back it up. Your new teammates are just like buttah, however watch your back one mistake and it's all over. Living on the edge has never really been an issue for you anyways.

Yahoo! I got Hyoutei! XD

You are Atobe Keigo. You are mentally unstable because you have an ego the size of Africa. You also have a tendency to end every sentence you speak with 'Naa, Kabaji?'

Wahahahahahahah. And I thought I was supposed to be mentally unstable, by the looks of the quiz~ XD

Your Rikkaidai Match is... Marui Bunta! Congrats on getting together! The Bubblegum Boy (I mean genius~ =X) of Rikkai! Childish but cute! No wonder everyone loves him! =D

what a break.

Thu, 25 Aug 2005 08:31:33 GMT

I can't believe I actually took a break from blogging for like, a month! Yeah, once you stop blogging for about a week, you sorta lose all motivation to update your blog the week after that, and so on. I can't even remember what I last blogged about. And I don't remember what happened in the last four to five postless weeks either, so bully for all of us. I'm feeling rather happy today, mainly because it's a holiday and I'm not in school. I've been lazing around at home since the day started (no, I didn't go jogging today - my back aches), with just one word running through my mind : cosplay. Yes, I'm your regular anime freak who collects stuff, goes nuts when limited edition products are on sale, snubs badly subbed VCDs, does some subbing herself and longs to go to Japan... again. (The "again" is there because not everyone's been to Japan.) I haven't done that much cosplaying myself - most of what I've done was with AAC (for so-called photoshoots and self-entertainment), and I've only done a stage performance once. It takes plenty guts to go up there, you know! And those guts I... just so happen not to have. (What a wimp) This year I've participated in an AIR GEAR cosplay shoot with eX-Tea and some other outsiders from the recent MS Gundam SEED Destiny photoshoot, and a d.Grayman one - both of which I enjoyed immensely, and didn't burn my wallet since most of the clothes were contemporary and extant... well, with the exception of Allen Walker's strange hand and all those cloaks and stuff. The wigs made my head itch, though. Darned wigs. Anyhow, cosplaying is fun to watch... well, fun to do too, but more fun to watch... as long as you don't get jealous easily. Often, watching other people play the part of their favourite game/cartoon characters while you silently sit by the side, unable to emulate that which you would so love to emulate... well, makes one fume and rage on the inside, and wish to tear the wigs off the actors standing around.

Mum put me on a special diet, which started a few weeks ago. It was very successful at first, but I got tired of it after a while and I started guzzling carbs by the packet. I was only supposed to have two wedges of cheese in the morning, a bottle of low-fat yoghurt in the afternoon and salad with low-fat dressing at night. Add that up, and you'll find that I was taking in around 350 kCal a day, no more. Which would explain why I lost 5 pounds in just six days. I was on a no-carb diet. The cheese in the morning was to line my stomach and keep me full till lunchtime. But after two weeks I got hungry and started eating other stuff... thankfully, though, I only gained a pound. Now I'm back to that usual no-carb eating plan, and I'm feeling pretty fine these days. No more puking for me (I hope!). My hair's grown longer too, and that's something I'm pleased about. I'm pretty glad I managed to refrain from cutting it all off for a whole six months, and I'm even gladder with how it looks now. Not that it's very pretty or anything, but I got a number of nice comments from other people about how I've become prettier (*^_^*) after I let my hair grow. Which is definitely good!!! I used to be such a tomboy before. I still browse my mags - KERA, CanCam, FRUiTS... though I got a pretty good haul of new stuff last week when I visited Kinokuniya. Got me Zipper, CANDY and Berry. Zipper is a good mag - pretty much like CUTIE. These days you hardly find anything good to look at in KERA; you get a whole lot of ads and not much clothes. Yeeesh. On a brighter note, my style has (again) evolved. Whether it's better than before, you be the judge of that. I couldn't really care less. I just live to look like Kimura Kaera - currently my fashion idol. :D

Friday was a pretty... stupid day, as usual. I was feeling sluggish to begin with, and I spent most of my day at school in the Pusat Kegiatan Guru, editing my school yearbook's graphics. And it was COLD AS HECK down there, I tell you! You could see icicles hanging from my nose! Not only that, I was subject later to more whining, thanks to Sweet Yee (thankfully, Adeliyn was not with us) about how her boyfriend wanted her to become more feminine so his pals wouldn't think he was dating a gay. I tried to ignore her (esp. when she started pestering me with all manner of questions regarding my relationship with Wen Hong) but to no avail. She told me all about her problem anyway. So I made a decision. I told her, "Okay, auntie. This Friday, before BK, we will meet up someplace for lunch and we will do something about your image. And you'd better dress like a girl!" And because she hasn't got any skirts or nice tops, I'm going to have to lend her some of my togs just so she can... I don't over, get her make-over done with. Whatever. And Adeliyn's coming for lunch with us too (oh, Deity help me!)... because Esther and Sharon said they'd both be too busy to come. And the big day's tomorrow. Hoo boy. Good thing Miss Moey came to class early last Friday and spared me from more of Sweet Yee's complaining. I was getting a bad callous back there. I went home and I don't remember what I did. I think I used the PC a bit, and then I studied the rest of the night. What a way to spend a good Friday night. Studying. Huh. Oh, I did go and get my eyes checked (finally!). Lady said I could collect my glasses on Thursday (today). This time I picked a stylish pair, silver in colour (but called gun-black) and rectangular... heavy rims, because that's what everyone wants these days. Not that I'm contradicting my earlier proclamation of being different... I just don't want to look like a geek with glasses like the ones I used to sport two years back. Eeeeeek. They made me look worse than... than... Naomi in goggles.

Last Sunday I went to a Japanese Restaurant called Zen for dinner. Dad took us there. He's not much of a Japanese-food-fan, but we ended up going there because Xian and I said we wanted Japanese food that night. I had in mind a little Japanese bar not too far from my place, where you could order little portions of sushi/sashimi for reasonable prices... because I'd eaten a lot that day (and my diet was completely ruined). But we ended up going to this swanky place downtown and into a large but cozy restaurant with classy decor and posh seating. It was pretty good, actually. Xian and I started babbling in Japanese - with me doing all the annoying talking and Xian going for the monosyllabic brush-offs. Some people actually turned and stared at us as we passed. (mission accomplished!) I couldn't decide on what to eat. I just wanted my さしみ but in classy restaurants like that one, さしみ costs a bomb, so my mum frowned when I told her what I wanted and said something about the downs of eating lots of raw fish. So I ended up ordering sake ikura don 「鮭イクラ丼」, something I hadn't had since I last visited Kobe (only, I had イクラどんぶり「丼」）there instead. Looking back, I still don't understand why mum asked me to order the beef curry rice I loved so much, when she knew I wasn't supposed to be eating that sort of stuff while on my diet. Anyhow. I think Xian went for the unagi「鰻」, as did Ah Mah. Dad had tenpura 「天ぷら」as usual and Mum... uh, I think she ordered chicken teriyaki 「チキン照り焼き」. There's that one thing I don't like about eating Japanese with my family - everyone orders the same old thing, and that's soooo boring. It's always good to be different and deviate from your usual thing. I like that. :) My dish was VERY yummy, just as expected. Nothing beats vinegared rice and seaweed topped with a pile of salmon roe and strips of raw salmon. I could live on fish and rice all my life! Ahhhhh...

Monday night, we went out to watch Charlie & The Chocolate Factory. I'd been dying to watch it since the day it premiered here, and I was ecstatic when we finally got to catch it that night. Everything was dandy.... and then Dad had to spoil it by taking us up the stairs and into the theatre when the ticket stubber wasn't even there. I kept going, "Hey, dad, you're not supposed to go in yet," while pacing around anxiously but he mumbled something about it being the ticketman's fault for not being there early, and I went, "Yeah, but that's because you aren't supposed to go in early!" And I pointed out that we were the only people up there while everyone else was being polite enough to wait for the ticket-stubber to arrive. Anyhow, we wandered around for a bit until the cleaners left the theatres, then we sauntered in and took our seats. It was pretty embarrassing. And mum was hogging all the popcorn. Not that I wanted the popcorn (I'm not a fan of TGV's popcorn) - she just looked pretty greedy for such a little person, hogging the large bag of popcorn all to herself. Things settled down pretty soon and the movie started...... and I was disappointed. Johnny Depp seemed to be doing an impersonation of Jim Carrey rather than Willy Wonka (who seemed a lot cheerier in the original script by Roald Dahl) and the only good actor there was little Charlie Bucket. Maybe Johnny Depp didn't seem like himself because of the lack of a beard/moustache. Anyhow, it could've been a lot better. I'm just sad it didn't turn out the way I hoped it would. And those kids! Geez, what's with those kids!? Veruca Salt's actress was a good choice, though. :)

新しいペンパルをしたんだ！もちろん、日本から。（＾_＾）　今のいるペンパルは亜季（岐阜）、理恵（広島）、有香（札幌）、かおり（兵庫）と由紀（広島）。みんないい人だ！いい友達が見つけた嬉しい！！　あっ　今見るアニメのは「ハチミツ＆クローバー」（Honey & CLOVER)　凄い面白い！！一番好きなキャラはやっぱり森田忍だ！（彼の声優は上田有事だ！）ものかっこいいし、それと面白いし、それに多いタレントがあるし。森田とハグ一緒のほうが欲しいよ！絶対いいペアだと思うよ！（間違い無いよ！）それからテニプリ漫画を読む．．．甲斐君カッコイイ～！きゃぁ～ぁ！沖縄から、彼は。やぁ～暑いな今日は．．．寝むいなぁ～Zzzzz...

feinting ailment is not me.

Fri, 29 Jul 2005 05:23:50 GMT

Hoooooboy. It's been so long since I last came to this update.bml page, you betcha. And gosh, do I miss this place or what? I've been busy with stuff lately, you know, work and work and work. Not homework... more like church biz and all that jazz. I've been struggling to lose weight as well, haven't been very successful but I'm still persistently willing myself to eat less. I ruined my diet yesterday by eating two bowls of Cornflakes right after lunch, forgetting that we were going to have dinner out to bid Alex (who is now on the plane back to London) farewell. Anyhow. We went to Pizza Uno, an Eden in a dimly lit space with magazine and movie posters. I love the food there. I've been there at least three times and the place has never failed to impress me with the quality of its eats. Believe you me, every bite is worth MORE than what you pay to get the whole meal. Yesterday I ordered a Pollo Parmigiani (which translates as Chicken Meatballs), only it wasn't meatballs I got, it was a fat, boneless chunk of chicken in thick tomato puree and onions and chillis and all that yummy din. I wish I'd ordered the same as Alex - a baked whole lamb shank. Damn. It smelt SO good. And it was TEH tastiest dish I'd ever tasted all my life. Seriously. It was that good. And Andrew and James were trying to hold back tears as they dug into their steak. Only Xian had complaints about her food, something about the sauce being salty. But her meatball pasta was pretty good. I liked the meatballs.

I haven't been to school for about a week now, due to some er, minor health problems. Monday got me full blast with severe gastric pain, and Tuesday saw me well and on my feet IN the office where people get their passports done. Wednesday saw me off at an interview for HPN scholarship applicants and Thursday saw me at home, staying home for fear of suffering boredom on a non-Science day at school. Today, I didn't feel so good, so I'm in my mum's office. I'm taking some time off from studying my Biology reference book to type in this entry before I leave for BK and Miss Moey's birthday. Oh, and here comes the blueberry - I'm jaundiced.

Not in the eyes, you jackass, I mean literally jaundiced. Blood tests show, for the third time, that I really do have the Yellow disease, or any other name it might go by. Yeah. So now you know the answer to why I'm so yellow. I never really thought about it till Xian pointed it out one day, and then I got a bit worried, and now it turns out there is something wrong with me after all. I don't know what's going to happen now. Maybe they'll put me under the UV light thing like all those babies in the hospital. Ack. Maybe they'll run me through a machine of some sort. Whatever. I'm not looking forward to being treated for this.

Yesterday I learned about the disadvantages of Science & Technology at BM tuition. We got to watch footage of the Challenger when it blew up, the Titanic (guess the cameraman musta survived somehow), the rescue efforts in Chernobyl when the reactor when boom, babies born with genetic defects, and the Human Genoproject. Personally, I think genetic engineering is a really cool field and through it you get to know a lot of interesting stuff, and given that medical science is so dependent on genetic engineers to help them break puzzles and solve mysteries, it would probably be profitable and useful to become a genetic engineer. Sadly, I don't take a fancy to Biology and genetics, so no way, no how. But watching other people do their thing is fine by me. Anyway. We got some insight into the human genetic structure and the components of DNA, you know, A, T, G and C (I didn't know about guanine before Mr. Goey told us). And we got to see the effects of gene deletion, repetition and all that fancy stuff. Very interesting. And very entertaining. =) See, that's why more people should go to Mr. Goey's for BM tuition. You're guaranteed an A for your BM paper, and you get to watch a lot of funny videos, and you end up with general knowledge wider than most of the people your age. Now doesn't that sound lovely? (^_^) Of course, though, at RM60 a month the class is nothing to be trifled with. No results, no continue. You get kicked out. Literally.

Anyhow, it's 1:30 pm now and I'd better get back to studying Biology. Will continue rapping about today's events and Miss Moey's 50-something-th b'day when I get home from BK tonight. Drat. I forgot to bring the marshmallows.

what a prick i found in SOMEONE...

Sat, 16 Jul 2005 08:56:54 GMT

Okay. I haven't ranted here in a long time. But I am about to.
I must first apologise for not having posted here in such a loooooong period of time. I have been quite busy, and time did not permit me to allocate it so that I could blog. But oh well. Here I am, with a couple of spare minutes on a sweltering hot Saturday afternoon, so I'm using what little time I have to keep you updated!

Well. Yesterday was a bad day for me. It started off pretty good, actually. But later on, some unasked for events got me all heated up and put in a very... irritable state. Sashvini and I had gone to the PKG during the second last period to do some work on the computer there for the Editorial Board. Unfortunately, none of the keys Puan Sumathi gave us seemed to fit the padlock on the grille outside the room, and try and try as we might, we couldn't get it to open up to us. So we went to the office, inquired for a new key, and were told that the keys we had were the right ones. In the end, we had to go look for Pak Cik Din, our school's security guard, who found us instead, and after trying our keys on the lock, marched right up to the school office clerk and asked for a different key. We managed to open the room after that, with the help of Puan Haniza's key. I managed to finish some editing work in the room. As it turned out, Puan Sumathi did have the right key all along - it had just fallen out of the ring and was sitting primly in the corner of her handbag. She came rushing to find us and was quite relieved when she saw us in the room, doing work. Later on I had lunch in school, because Sharon wanted to, so I bought myself a plate of fried rice with lots of cili padi. And lo, Sweet Yee just had to spoil my meal by coming up to me and asking me why I was still in school. And I was like, "I'm eating, girl." And she whined about how she was going to be late to get her handphone from her sister, and I got all flustered and said, "Well, you should have told me that earlier! I'm eating now!" And she kept whining, but I kept eating and later Sharon came along and had yong tau foo, so Sweet Yee had to wait till she was done too. I really do not think it is fair for her to deprive us of our lunch. What - does she really think she's going to whisk us off immediately after school every Friday just to take a long walk down to the train station, meet her freaking sister and collect that damn handphone of hers!? Like, can't she do it herself? We've walked with her several times already, and if she were nice enough she'd do it alone off and on. In this case, though, we agreed to eat in school, and she interrupted me while I was eating. +__+

Later on, I got even more pissed off. Adeliyn, Sharon, Sweet Yee and I were walking to BK. Esther was in school for some sort of meeting the prefects were having. Sharon received a free can of Nestea from some promoter outside school, and was bouncing around squealing in a very Sharonlike manner. So I said, "Sharon, what are you doing?" because I was a little embarrassed at her behaviour in public, and Adeliyn went, "Yalar! What are you doing lah! This is in public, you know! So EMBARRASSING!!! My GOD. How shameless!" All that in one breath. And the worst part about it was the way she said it, the tone she used for it. Adeliyn's voice sounds very... ah mah, and when she raises it, she sounds like a grandmother from the 20's scolding her teenage grand daughter for not being a good little conformist. It was horrible. And later, when we took the long way to BK because Sharon and I were busy talking instead of watching where we were going, Adeliyn fussed. Sharon was about to cross the road to Kasturi Tuition Centre when I called her back, so she went "Oh!" and swerved in my direction, and Adeliyn got even crosser and screamed (like, literally) "What the hell is wrong with you guys!?" And she sounded very uptight. So I just mumbled. "I am now so pissed off." And kept walking. And I bumped into this smelly Malay guy who didn't apologise when I did, and what with Sweet Yee thinking I was mad at her when I said, "I hate people who don't say sorry", it was impossible for me to get my peace. I fell back and talked to Sharon while Adeliyn ranted on and on to Sweet Yee. They were perfect for each other. Two impulsive ranting nutcases, who constantly piss people off. And you will find out at the end of this entry why my judgment was justified.

Danush stopped by to visit, as he always does every Friday. We exchange several lame jokes, and Adeliyn told one, and when we couldn't guess, she gave us the answer with a very tired look and said, "Whatla~!" And it wasn't the "Whatla" that people use when laughing at someone, it's the "Whatla" you use when you just can't stand being in the room with someone else. And having lived in Malaysia all my life, I know the difference between the many "Whatla"s one can use. Adeliyn's certainly wasn't a pleasant one. I quickly told Danush not to mind her, but Danush seemed pretty cool about it. We talked about Star Wars, exchanged more lame jokes and then he had to leave. Stupid Emerson, though, for not visiting me. I was so hoping he'd come upstairs since I haven't seen him ages, but he rode off with Pei in his car and I didn't get to see him after all. Aw. Anyhow, Adeliyn was a jerk the entire day, as was Sweet Yee, and I could tell by Esther's expression that she wasn't very pleased with the way the two of them were acting either. The thing about Esther and I is... we communicate with our eyes. We roll our eyes, shift them from side to side, crease them, widen them, and we sort of know what the other is talking about. Esther even hissed, "That Adeliyn ah...!" and when Adeliyn jeered Danush, "What's her problem lah?" After class she asked me what was up with Adeliyn, since she was acting really strange that day. Gee. Only God would've known. I was in no mood to hang around any longer, and I was in a hurry anyway, so I left first, seeing that Sweet Yee didn't want to walk with me. I didn't run into Hock Jeen, or he into me, so I don't know who was behind who. I got back earlier than usual, though.

It was a rough day. Verbally. And that night I felt so down I ate and ate and ate. And ate. And this morning I felt bad I ate more. (>_<) And I put on a whole 3 kilos by all that eating. And I'm not lying. In just two days. Oh well. Maybe it'll all go away tomorrow. Maybe I'll get stricken with diarrhoea and a fever and lie and bed and not eat and I'll become all skinny and everything. Maybe. Just maybe.

seashell hedgehogs. cute.

Fri, 24 Jun 2005 15:25:56 GMT

I'm sitting here staring at this cute little hedgehog (or porcupine?) made out of seashells, a gift from one of my sister's friends. It's been sitting on the bass speaker for nearly 5 years now, and it is an adorable thing. One of its shell-spines has broken, but it still looks fine. Well, more or less. Anyhow, that isn't the point. Miss Moey wasn't able to finish marking our papers, so I couldn't get back my BK results. I'm guessing I did... well, average. Probably finished somewhere in the middle of the class or something. 50th percentile, perhaps. For lunch today we went to the wan tan mee stall near Popular bookstore, where I had some popiah and Esther, Sharon and Sweet Yee had kai fan at RM4.00 per plate. Bloody expensive. We stopped by Starbucks on the way to get a Rhumba Frap, because I wanted to get my Starbucks card stamped, but silly me, completely forgot to hand my card to the lady at the counter. So we left without getting my card stamped. Ick. I replenished my supply of writing utensils (since I'd lost my pencil box) and I was ecstatic when I found that black Winnie the Pooh canvas pencil case, the same as my old one. I wanted to get it, but sadly, it was the last one there and some useless git had ripped off the price tag, so it wasn't... well, purchasable (does this word exist?). I had to settle for some other blue netted pencil case that reminded me of my Little Bobdog pouch, because of the blue pattern on it.

Reached BK early, as usual. *Danush* (ah, right, that's his name! Ack, nearly forgot) popped by for... uh, what reason again? See, that's always the problem. I remember a person's face, but I end up forgetting the person's name and literally everything else about said person. And when he asked me if I remembered him, I was like, "Uhhhhh, yeah, I think so!" And that was horrible. It took me ages to recall. I kept jumping up and down and going, "WHAT ~ IS ~ HIS ~ NAME!?"

Let's see. Nothing much happened today. The Form 5 students got their jabs. I didn't. Sashvini didn't. Cheah didn't. Sashvini had already taken her MMR booster last year. Cheah - no idea. I've never gotten a jab in school before. I always have my immunisations done in the hospital. Guess mum trusts her staff nurses more, yeah? I remember Tennya crying in the room right before she got her jab. I remember her crying even when she got back to class. Oh, and I do remember Sumitha toppling off her chair sometime during Add Math. Apparently her limbs had gone sort of numb, as an after-effect of the jab. It was pretty scary. Some of the other girls started getting all panicky, and suddenly a good many of them started feinting pain around the area where they'd been injected with... whatever. Measles, mumps... what's "R"? Anyhow, we had to stand in the sun during the second assembly because in CBN, there is a rule on what you must wear to assemble in the hall. Those in PE uniform - out to the tennis court you go. Which is precisely what all of us had to do - line up outside in the hot, sweltering sun. It was hell.

I showed Puan Sumathi my cover designs for this year's yearbook. She wants the colours changed. +__+
Like, whatever. I don't know how I'm going to manage the colour changes and stuff, but ah, well, I suppose I'm just going to have to give it a go and see what I can come up with. And I'm tired now, so I suppose I'll go sleep. =P G'nite.

hotties all around!

Tue, 21 Jun 2005 09:30:53 GMT

Whoo hoo. It's been a while, innit?
I put on loads of weight during the holidays, what a bummer. And I didn't do too well in the diagnostic test. Oh well. I didn't fail anything. Most of my marks were in the 60s and the 70s, so... I suppose you could call that somewhat mediocre. Not great. I didn't study much. School's been a drag so far. Puan Sumathi took me aside to have a long chat with me about winning that Cambridge English Award that Jessica apparently won last year for getting the highest score for her 1119 essay. So Puan Sumathi says, I'm the only one she thinks who's able to achieve that as well. Just for the score, Jessica got a 48 for her essay, which is pretty high... like, considering Cambridge University gave her that score. The highest I've gotten is a 47, and it was a school teacher that awarded me that mark. I suppose it shouldn't be too hard. After all, I did receive a "Highly Commended" certificate for my Commonwealth essay. *wince* Oh well. And they're all expecting me to win the MPH Young Writer's Contest. I mean, hello. I didn't win last year's contest. Why should I win this year's?? Anyhow, of the two eras we're allowed to select, I opted for 1942. I think it's a lot easier to bring out the sentiment in an essay based on the warring past than in one depicting the modern world. I'm not exactly a sucker for all those tear-jerkers, but if I can somehow control the reader's emotions... well, you get what I mean, even if I ain't exactly saying it very well. +__+

Andrew and James are in Malaysia!!! (^_^) With a friend of theirs, Alexander (Alex) Hills. James has lost even more weight, and Andrew... well, looks more or less the same. Alex is a thin guy with a hooked nose, and is apparently a medical student at Imperial College. Andrew is studying in SOAS, something I definitely didn't know. Okay, I haven't heard of SOAS, but there are lots of places I hadn't heard of before this... so ah, screw my not knowing SOAS. We went bowling and did some shopping and ANDREW IS GOING TO GET ME A MOBILE PHONE. OMG, this so rocks. =P Yeah, just a couple of years back I absolutely hated Andrew and James coming over because they were mean to me and kept locking me out of the room and yelling at me to f*ck off and stuff, but now well, things have changed. Probably because I'm more grown up now and it's harder to yell at your cousin when she's all grown up and... well, I don't disturb them in the bratty way a kid does. And according to Andrew, I'm his favourite little cousin!! ^_^ Yeah. He was uber nice to me last year too. This year when they arrived at our doorstep, I raced down and was like, "HI!!!" And he went, "Hey there, lil' cuz!" And gave me a big bear hug. Only it was kind of hard for me to hug him, since he's pretty tall and big and yeah. ^^;;

I should tell you about our bowling game. Andrew, James, Alex, Xian and I went to MegaMall to bowl. We gave ourselves nicknames - Alex was Mushu; Andrew was Squigz; James was Fug (he wanted to be "Badboi" but Andrew changed it); Xian was Momochan and I was The Dominator. LOL. All because I wasn't sure what to call myself. It was a fun game. Andrew won (like duh) and I got second... which was quite interesting, because I'm not exactly good at bowling. I mean, I know how not to throw a gutter ball and all, but I rarely ever throw strikes. Or spares. =P Later we had some ice cream and looked at some Nokia phones, after which Andrew said Motorola or Samsung might be better off. So, yeah, I'm now looking at Samsung phones... Andy says paying's nothing if it's for his favourite little cuz. "Anything for you", apparently. Awww!! ^///^

aya = en-chan?

Thu, 09 Jun 2005 05:34:47 GMT

How cool. Aya, my new penpal, is nicknamed En-chan in school. LOL. One reason why we clicked so well. I have been playing around with my camera, and trying to get the hang of this lighting business. Anyhow, here are pictures of the two net friends in topic, a.k.a the two whitefaces. =P

I think Aya looks nicer with her hair up. =) By the way, I changed my parting, in case you hadn't noticed. It's still... well, a side-parting, but I've flipped it over to the right. It used to be on the left. Not that you'd know, though. Only Sharon pays close attention to my hair.

Tue, 07 Jun 2005 15:43:10 GMT

What an uneventful day. I sat at home and stuffed myself with peanuts to block out my depression. You cannot imagine how glad I was when Tien Eu came online. I was like, “GREAT GOD! Now I have a friend to talk to!” It was great fun, chatting with Tien Eu via MSN Messenger. Online, his youth really shows – in the way he talks and types. In person, he just looks like any other 16-year old, which, of course, he is not. I wrote him a crap testimonial about him being gay and sissified and piggish and scared of bugs, and he wrote me one right back about me being an evil beetle keeper and how he should’ve just shoved me right down into the dark abyss of nothingness instead of helping me along during the jungle walk. So to make up for it I wrote him a second, nicer testimonial which ended in me going “Tien Eu is funny. Funny. Funny. Funny.” He took it very well. No one’s talked to me and made me feel so happy online, except perhaps for Raymond, but I haven’t talked to him in a million years. Immediately all my worries just sort of left me in that moment of time, and I was laughing and smiling and whacking the table like a cracked up kid. It didn’t bother me that he’d written me a mean testimonial, it was for kicks and it was plain funny, and we both loved it. =)

I called Rufus to ask him how the movie was. He didn’t sound very enthusiastic while talking to me, but he said the movie was funny. They went out to watch Madagascar. Niklas and Linus and Rufus and Jessica. Almost instantly I felt like dying. It was the first time I’d failed to show up at any of our outings together. At times I’d be the only girl there, but I’d never before graced them with my absence. Rufus didn’t exactly want to know about the problems that I’d encountered, and what it was that had caused the enmity between Jessica and I, as well as the segregation between one of my closest buddies and I recently, so I shut up. I didn’t feel like letting it out to everyone, anyway. Just yesterday he invited me to his birthday party and I said I’d go, but after he told me a few hours ago that he’d invited Niklas too... I wasn’t so sure if I should attend the bash. Now I’m still a little confused and torn between whether or not to go. Rufus did invite me, and it wouldn’t be very good of me to pass it up just because Niklas’ll be there... but if I do go, it would be pretty stupid if I had to avoid Niklas every second. If he’s watching TV, I’ll be staying far, far away from the TV. If he’s at the dinner table, I won’t be able to eat. If he’s near the cake, I won’t be getting my slice of whatever cake it is then. I anticipate it’ll be a pretty miserable day for me this Sunday, having to keep my eye out for someone like that when I really should be enjoying myself at my own little brother’s birthday party, and not being able to hang out with my church pals.

I also cannot stand the way Jessica sounds so cheerful, as though nothing’s ever happened, when we’re talking about other stuff. It’s as though she doesn’t realize I’m still waiting for an apology from her. Come to think of it, I don’t think she does realize she needs to apologize to me. I have apologized to her at least three times on many different accounts, and not once did she voice her say. Well, there was that once when I said, “Sorry about that. I guess I wasn’t in a very good mood,” and she said, “Me too. I was feeling pretty cranky.” Basically, there are some little things about her that annoy me, and they are :

1. Her being overly-flirtatious around Niklas, and acting like she forced him to marry her.
2. Her getting mad at me even after I reluctantly but purposefully gave up my role in the musical.
3. Her condescending me and implying that if she is useless, I must be all the more useless.
4. Her going around asking people if they like me, and claiming that many people don’t.
5. Her getting pissed off if other people ‘steal her time’ with Niklas.
6. Her lying about me ‘wanting’ to play the piano to upstage her when I was asked to play.
7. Her attempt to sabotage my partnership with Niklas in last year’s scavenger hunt.
8. Her over-eagerness to sing louder than everyone else (that annoys even Hannah)
9. Her hogging the piano playing my assigned pieces when it should be my turn to practice.
10. Her always coming in between when I am talking to or walking beside Niklas.

At times I feel like jumping up and yelling, “Look, Jessica, if you can’t tell the difference between a love relationship and close friendship, then get this into that fat skull of yours – this guy is my friend and you have some nerve trying to wreck this long-established friendship.” I mean like, if she’d just buzz off and respect that, I’d be jumping for joy. You won’t believe how annoying it is the way she squeezes in between Niklas and I when we’re walking beside each other. If we’re having a laugh, she sits far away and sulks on her own. If I invite her to laugh along with us, she just stares along blankly. And those are all facts. I’ve been seeing signs like those since last year. Hannah got pissed one day and told me, “What is it that she sees in Niklas!? What’s so great about him?” Okay, Niklas is relatively good-looking. I mean, after all, I was the one who dubbed him the Asian Keanu Reeves @ Neo. He is smart, and he is responsible, pretty obvious for a guy who’s a prefect, and he’s pretty nice to girls. During camp, one night, Meng Kheng pointed out one thing I had always failed to see. Niklas is a smooth-talker. Which means to say that he doesn’t always speak the truth – he speaks half-truths. I remember shuddering when he said that even though it was relatively warm – because earlier, we’d just heard a sermon about Satan speaking half-truths. Then Hannah and I spoke about Jessica. Hannah said, “I can’t see them getting together.” I thought about it for a while, and I agreed, “Me neither.” It is simply impossible to picture Niklas and Jessica as a going-out couple. Plus, their personalities don’t exactly click. Niklas is competitive to the extent that he really blows up if anything goes wrong... Jessica is the type who’d rather the leave all the work to someone else, but when she’s out of the limelight for too long, goes into high gear and starts that rapping of hers.

I don't know Hannah's taking this, but I do hope she's in a better state of mind than I am. Days pass me by and I sit around waiting for Jessica to apologise and my dad to say I can hang out with Niklas again. I wrote him an apology, because I do think it's entirely my fault all of this happened. Not that it affects him as it does me, but it can't have been very pleasing to talk to my dad. And I don't even know what they talked about. Gee. The suspense is killing me. No, actually, it isn't. I'm actually surprised at how much willpower I had and have in having nothing to do with Niklas. I went over the line a little during camp when I apologised, but that was more or less all I did. I don't know anything anymore. I'm just going to sit back, relax, lose some weight, be happy, make more friends, study hard and find out what on earth I'm here for.

the worst camp ever.

Sun, 05 Jun 2005 14:11:28 GMT

Okay. I absolutely disliked this year's camp. Ultimately, it was the worst camp I'd ever attended in the history of my years at EMC... since I was with the pioneering group, it is only fair to say that this was also EMC's worst camp ever. Here is my day-by-day report on the camp.

2 June 2005 // Thursday
We decided to leave a little later so we'd arrive in time for the 5 pm Gap Opening. We got to Pine Resort at around 5:30 or so, dad, Ah Mah and I. Hannah was right behind us in Uncle Harry's car. I was glad for the company. As soon as I got out, Uncle Charles approached me and asked me a question that as good as killed me. He said that the musical wouldn't be held for two days, it would be just for one day. Plus, the band needed a good musician and he had me in mind, since I played both the piano and flute, and well, it's a known fact that if you ever need someone to play the piano for you, you should go look for En (personally, I'm tired of that). I was pretty taken aback, needless to say, and I told him I needed time to think about it. So I got till the next night to mull things over. I was glad for the time. I had to discuss things with the rest. I found out that Jessica would be arriving late, and for some reason, I was glad to hear that. It meant that I wouldn't have to try very hard to keep from choking up my lunch or dinner when she found her way to Niklas. The boys (Meng Kheng, Chun Yuen, Niklas, Tien Eu) were coming by bus. They should've been there by about 3 or 4, but the bus left late, and so arrived late. I had been placed in an apartment full of kids and I was to share a room with the apartment's chaperone, Li Won (whoever she is). I didn't like the idea of that, so I asked for a change of apartment and settled in Auntie June's apartment, in Hannah and Jessica's room. The guys arrived later, in time for dinner. We went downstairs for our first session with Pastor Christopher Rao, and I must say, it wasn't a great time. It was relatively boring, but it was all right, I suppose. A huge moth landed on Tien Eu's shirt and he let out a yell. Personally, I think Tien Eu is so funny. =) He hates bugs and freaks out when you put one near him.

Jessica arrived at supper and... well, we hung out a bit and then the girls went back to their apartments while I stayed on behind with Uncle David and Meng Kheng, talking about the musical and what I should do. I had three choices, #1 Go for the role and do my best to get it, #2 Drop the role and play the piano, #3 Drop everything completely. It wasn't so much which role I should play that was bothering me. It was the enmity between Jessica and I that was a pain in the arse, and I wanted to make a decision that would help in amending our friendship and make Jessica happy. In the end, I decided to drop everything for several reasons. I didn't want to make things worse by trying out for the part (just in case I ended up getting it), and from past experiences and stuff that she told Hannah ("That En-ah... because I'm playing piano for choir, she also wants to play"), I felt that she would be glad to do something in which I wouldn't at all be involved. Meng Kheng's observation was that in a lot of things Jessica and I did together, I often got the limelight. Of course, I resented that partially, since I figured choir pianists got a lot of praise. I mean, when I played the piano for the choir, aunties and uncles would come up to me and compliment me. I don't know about Jessica. Also, I only played for the choir because both my sisters were previously choir pianists. Jessica only came into the picture because I decided I'd rather sing than play the piano. Also, I was then asked to play the piano again becaus Miss Chai felt that it would be a burden on Jessica to have to play so many songs during concerts. Not only that, I always turned the pages for Jessica, but she hardly ever did the same for me during rehearsals. She'd always hog the piano and play my assigned songs, with the assumption that I got the better and nicer songs. Personally, I couldn't care less about who got the nicer songs. I felt that it wasn't fair of Jessica to think that way. She should've been proud of the fact that she got the more difficult, classical pieces while I got the easier ones.

Sure, mine were more modern and contemporary, but see, I can see that Miss Chai understood our differences when she divided the songs between us. I am a more spontaneous pianist. I play according to how I feel, and I can adapt to any piece. I play with much expression and emotion; I pour my all into the music I play. I don't mean to say that Jessica is a mechanical pianist, but she doesn't show any emotion when she plays. I cry when I play the piano. I cry when someone else plays the piano with feeling. But no feelings emanate from Jessica's piano playing. BUT she practices more and she was at the time 2 grades above me, so she was better at runs and all that. Contemporary pieces, I feel, require emotion and a good sense of rhythm... you pay a lot of attention to the dynamics and the flow of the piece. Now, in the older, more classical Baroque-era pieces, more emphasis is placed on getting the notes right, because the pieces are in strange keys like G-flat major and there are often lots of difficult runs to play. While Jessica could've been flattered that Miss Chai has asked her to play the more difficult pieces (plus I often commented on how difficult her pieces were, and how I wouldn't even be able to play them after months of practice), she had to see the other side of it, and get all sulky because I got to play pieces that she thought sounded nicer. +___+

Back to the situation. Meng Kheng walked me back to my room, and I went in and sat down for a while, and then decided I should talk to Niklas. So I got my shoes, told my apartment mates I was going to get something from Niklas and went up to his apartment to talk to him. I'd told him the problem and he was listening, and suddenly there were these knocks on the door, and he yelled out, "Who's there?" and I heard Hannah's voice, so I figured she was outside with Jessica. Goodness knows what they were doing outside. I figure Jessica must have decided to come up, and so called Hannah along. She probably didn't like the fact that I'd gone upstairs to 'get whatever it is I'd left in Niklas' room'. Niklas pushed me into his room and I hid behind the bed, and he went to open the door. I couldn't really hear what they were saying, but I heard him say, "I'm talking to En." And then he came back. They'd left his apartment. I told him I was planning to drop everything. He said he felt that Jessica would look at it as though I felt I was sure to get the part, and I decided I'd let her have a chance and pulled out. I didn't think so. He said it was wise of me to pull out, since he'd also noticed that Jessica and I had been pretty cold towards each other since last year. But he wanted me to play in the band. I said I felt that she would rather not have me around. Given that Jessica already viewed me as a rival, she might consider even the pianist a threat to her. I made up my mind. It was pretty hard. I nearly cried. I mean, the fact that I was giving up the main role without a fight... well, it was quite depressing. Anyhow, I told him that I wasn't going to back down, and so he sort of gave me this awkward hug, and walked me down. I shared a room with Jessica and Hannah. It was impossible to sleep that night. Mosquitoes kept buzzing around us and we got so pissed off we got up and played Chor Tai Ti and Poker for a couple of hours before trying our luck at falling asleep again.

3 June 2005 // Friday
Sleeping late took its toll on me. I woke up late. But that didn't really matter. Breakfast looked horrible, so I ate half a sausage. Downstairs with the rest of the youth, we were divided into several groups and made to play strange games. I was with Hannah, Jia Ern, Sonia, Alison, Emily, Tien Eu and Tan Juan. The first game was a sort of relay of twos and fours in which we had to link our arms together. So it was Tien Eu and Tan Juan first, and they were to pass the race to Hannah, Jia Ern, Sonia and I. For some reason, they walked like tortoises and stopped halfway, leaving us girls screaming our heads off, "FAAAASTER!!!" When they finally got to us, the other teams had long finished, and the four of us moved so fast we reached the other side of the room in less than five seconds. Like, literally. If they'd been faster we would've won. Sheesh. We also played the Head Hands Feet game, which was hilarious. My team got second, and we were all girls. How fun. Look at the picture below.

Anyhow, the session with Pastorpher wasn't particularly interesting either. I listened a little, and was glad to go upstairs for lunch after that. Later on, we had some sort of F1 racing game, where we had to build a car out of cardboard and paper and attach CDs on pipes to it to get it to move. I drew #1 - Renault, so we built a blue car. There was some conflict regarding what colour the Renault car should be - green? yellow? blue? We had blue paper, so we put it to good use. Initially we wrapped the car in pink paper, but then we changed our minds and redid it. I couldn't stand the way Niklas' group, Giver kept mocking my group, Servant. It was sickening. They were McLaren, and they did up their car in blue and white, with orange flames, possibly cut out by Laura, since she's good at drawing flames. Anyhow, we took the cars out to race after that, and both our teams lost. Ferrari won. It was so cool. It moved so fast, so steady, so smoothly. I was like, "WHOA! KIN SON!!! COOL WEH~" One thing that pleased me was the fact that McLaren's car didn't even reach the finish line. Its wheels came off halfway. See below, there we are, Servant, patching up our car after it crashed into an uncle who ran into the race course. Stupid.

That night, we had what we called Fun Nite. I had no idea it was on, and no one told me I had to dress like a cowgirl. So I dressed like a country Irish girl. We sang some old country songs, and we did a couple of barn dances. It was really fun. I partnered Niklas and Jessica partnered Hannah, and we had a lot of fun dancing around. After the first dance, Jessica was so quick in coming up to Niklas and I and saying, "Change partners la." And she got Niklas. Not that it bothered me. It was just that... I don't know, it was sickening to see her like that. She didn't even ask or tell Hannah anything. After Fun Nite, I was due to see Auntie Suat Chin. I was actually on my way up to my room, when she told me, "In 15 minutes time, in the hall." I saw Meng Kheng, so I quickly grabbed him and started talking to him about the problem... which he'd already known about. Meng Kheng... personally, is a great guy. He was really supportive of me that night, and said I was wise in making that move to improve ties with Jessica, but that he'd changed his mind overnight and now felt that I should get the part. In other words, he wanted me to act. He said he felt that all the actors would feel more comfortable with me and click better with me. I felt so too. I'd already thought of everything since the day Auntie Suat Chin gave me the role. I saw myself acting beside Niklas and Meng Kheng and Carys and Hazel and Rufus and I felt I could click with all of them! But Jessica? Okay, I suppose I'm not in any position to judge people the way I judged Jessica, but I personally felt that in terms of clicking with the actors and expressing one's self... I was definitely the better one. Why? I am more emotional. Just look at what I wrote about the piano-playing stuff. I am more emotional. I cry a lot, I get angry, I get happy... what about Jessica? She's so impassive and doesn't cry. She gets mad when things don't go her way. Now I'm not the only person who thinks this way! I don't know why she's like this. She wasn't like this when she first came to EMC. *sigh* Anyhow, Meng Kheng wanted me to act, and he even volunteered to get a survey done, involving the actors, on who they would prefer to have cast - me or Jessica. I told him not to do that - I'd already made my decision and I didn't want to get confused again.

I spent so much time talking to Meng Kheng that when I got to the hall, Jessica was already there auditioning. I sat there for a bit, and Uncle David came in, and gave me a knowing look, and I got up and whispered, "I'm going to drop it all." And the moment I said that, I just burst into tears and ran out of the room lest Jessica saw me cry. It took me a long time to calm down. When I walked into the hall, finally, I was still crying, and Uncle David told Auntie Suat Chin and Uncle Charles briefly that I didn't want to take the role because... I simply wanted Jessica to have it. Not because I felt she'd do a better job, but simply because I didn't want her to be mad at me anymore. I could tell that they wanted me to play the piano, Uncle Charles and Auntie Suat Chin, but I kept declining the offer. Finally, after a long time, I said, "I'm very sure of everything." They must have been disappointed, but I still stand by my thoughts that Jessica might even see the pianist as a threat. In simple words - she just didn't like me. Hannah had even told me that earlier, after dinner.

Anyhow, I went outside, dried my eyes quickly and walked back to the apartment. I went in, changed out of my jeans, made sure I didn't look I'd just cried and went out of the apartment for a walk. As soon as I'd reached the bottom of the stairs, Hannah and Niklas caught up to me and walked with me. We talked about the whole thing and Hannah tried to cheer me up by bringing up some other stuff. Niklas didn't say much - personally, I think he was just torn between... perhaps, a close friend and a girl he sort of liked. I felt I couldn't share a room with Hannah and Jessica that night, so Niklas offered up his room. There was an empty bed there, so I could occupy it. Anyhow, that was where I slept that night... and at midnight, Auntie Viji did her rounds and found me there, and I was in deep trouble. She had a talk with us, and Niklas tried to cover up for me. I did a pathetic job of protecting him and I'm very sorry for that, because I now believe that it was only fair I helped Niklas out as much as he helped me. But I remembered to declare loudly, "I TRUST HIM." Because that was true. Even if I wasn't in his room to talk about my problems with Jessica, I would be able to say I trusted him completely and he trusted me fully and we wouldn't be about to be up to anything funny in a bedroom. I was sent back to Auntie June's apartment, where Auntie Viji had a talk with me. I was quite silent, and she left me alone after a long time. I slept on the couch.

4 June 2005 // Saturday
That morning I ran into Meng Kheng, and we talked. He said he thought about it some more, and he felt that the fact that I did not harbour a crush on Niklas was a key factor in our clicking so well. I suppose it's because when you don't have special feelings for someone, you don't have to self-conscious and you don't have to worry about anything. You just go on and talk and laugh and tease and do your thing. That's one thing. And I've known Niklas for over ten years, while Jessica's only known him for like, five or six. My friendship with Niklas dates very far back, and we have this special bond because of the stuff we learned or went through before. I remember lots of stuff about Niklas when he was younger. I remember lots of stuff about Edwin and Shaun and Matthew and Hannah when they were kids. I remember everything because I was part of that group that started EMC in the very first place. Hannah's family, Matthew's family, my family. The three of us have been together since we were babies. But Matthew's not here anymore, so it's just Hannah and I. Meng Kheng figured that that "open" closeness we shared was what made Jessica jealous. Well, yes, it's happened to me before - feeling jealous about friends in church when they're closer to some other people. But I didn't backstab that girl. I didn't say mean things about her. I didn't snuggle up to the guy. I didn't try to turn people against any of them. (This story will be continued in the later part of the entry) I admit I never thought of it that way - Jessica being jealous because of my friendship with Niklas. Then again, I felt it was unfair of her to think that way too. I mean - would she only be happy if all the girls in church stopped talking to him? I suppose she was glad to know I was banned from talking to him (according to Hannah, she demanded he tell her what happened).

During our YF session, we were divided into groups and asked to pretend we were God, and come up with a short presentation on how we would counter Satan's efforts to lead people astray. I have become a lot more serious recently, and I have stopped indulging in Bible jokes. I have also stopped joking around during Bible study or religious sessions. I was slightly amused at one group's suggestions... (1)Flood the Earth and salvage the Christians... (2)Give out free balloons to those who turn to Me... but I felt it wasn't very funny to write stuff like that. My group was a rather serious group. I had Meng Kheng, Laura, Alison and Ian. We decided on visions. We'd give backsliders nightmares of torture or stuff, just enough to frighten them, not drive them mad, and we'd call missionaries through visions to go to these people and comfort them and turn them back to God. I think Pastor liked our presentation the best. It was the most realistic, it was the most biblical, it was the most mature, and it was the most serious. We heard of temptation sensors and more wiping out from other groups, and I didn't laugh at all. When Pastor asked us why we couldn't just blast Satan into oblivion (I'd challenged another group earlier, saying that they could do that instead of going to all the trouble they went to, and they couldn't return my challenge), no one answered. I felt cheesed off, so I answered, reeling off everything I'd learned in Uncle David's and Miss Moey's classes, about mechanical love and true love and God seeking out true Christians who would really love him. Jose made an interesting observation - something about Satan being some sort of stimulus to actually set apart faithful and non-faithful believers.

After that, we had a photo session... and then it was time for Auntie Viji to talk to my dad. I don't want to elaborate on what happened, but I got a spanking from my dad, and I got some rights reproved and I was... well, here comes the gooseberry. Someone ratted on me, and told my dad something horrible (and I will cease to tell you what) and I was banned from having anything to do with Niklas. My dad left and I cried my eyes out and yelled at Auntie Viji because I was mad at her and the person who told tales on me, and I refused to talk to her and I told her I wanted to be alone, so she left and I sat there, playing the piano. Later I went out, and I hung out with Hannah, because Niklas had talked to dad... and the minute he ascended the stairs and crossed my path I let out this huge sob and started bawling into Meng Kheng's shoulder. It was horrible. I felt horrible. I could only say to Niklas quickly, without anyone noticing, "I'm sorry about everything." It sounded so insincere, like I didn't mean it, but he said, "It's okay." And I cried all the more when he walked off.

I didn't want to go for the Treasure Hunt, because I thought we had to do it in pairs, but Sonia told me it was a group thing, and Meng Kheng and Hannah persuaded me to go along to get my mind off things, so I agreed to go. We were the second last team to take off, but we overtook three other teams and we had reached the roundabout, the first stop, when we discovered that half our team was missing. Miguel and Chun Yuen came running up to tell us we were on the wrong trail, and I insisted we were right because we'd reached the roundabout. Anyhow, I told him I'd go back to call Meng Kheng and the rest, since Chun Yuen was all worn out. I was yet to find out how tiring it is to sprint a whole two kilometres, because that was the exact distance from the roundabout back to the turning into the jungle, where we supposed to go. Joshua and I went in, panting like dying people, and we finally got to the other side. It was worth it, because we collected two clues along the way. Personally though, it was a bad idea of the organisers to place clues there, because only young people would've been able to make Herman's Trail. Anyhow, we went all the way to town and did a lot of scouting and asking around. Tien Eu bumped into us in town, and Hannah and I chatted with him a bit, and later he got a shelling from Niklas. That was the first time I felt like yelling at Niklas, for going after Tien Eu like that. I mean, competitiveness is good, but this was a family camp, and gee, why'd he have to go and get so danged cranky over Tien Eu talking to us? It wasn't as though Tien Eu was giving us clues or vice versa! Anyhow, we were the second last team to make it back, because we got separated, but it was all right. We felt tired and all.

I went to Meng Kheng's room to play Chor Tai Ti, and all of us (me, Chun Yuen, Meng Kheng, Tien Eu, Joshua, Hannah) decided we wouldn't go for the Jungle Walk. But something made everyone decide to go at the very last minute, and Hannah said, "Come on la, let's just go, everyone's going." So I finally decided to go. Jessica was supposed to be Hannah's partner, but the second she saw me, she quickly said, "Oh, why don't you partner En, then I'll partner Niklas!" And she sounded so happy saying that. Hannah agreed instantly, because she too was fed up of Jessica brushing her off. Twice that day she got brushed off by Jessica because of Niklas. Anyhow, Hannah and I then started a stupid squabble over who should partner who, whether I'd get Meng Kheng or Chun Yuen. In the end, I ended up getting Tien Eu and she got Joshua. @_@ Er. Go figure. I must say, the minute we took off, I started shivering like a naked goose in winter. I was honestly clinging on to Tien Eu for nearly tne entire journey, right up to the turning into the jungle. Those of them from group Giver hadn't taken Herman's Trail, but half of Servant(my group) did. I was at least half ready for it, even if I was terrified of the dark.. and of jungle-trekking in the mist.

It was boring, as I found out. I was supposed to be frightened. Instead, I ended up taking care of Carys. But Tien Eu kept frightening me. +___+ He and his talk of strange people walking and ghosts and stuff. He was nice la, though. At least he shone his torchlight on my path so I could see where I was going. And when we had to switch off all our lights, he was nice enough to reach out and hold my hand. And he didn't complain when I grabbed his arm and clung to it. So there were the three of us, Tien Eu, me and Carys, all in one line, holding hands, because Carys and I were terrified of falling down and dying. Hannah broke out in rashes because moth powder got on her. I apologised to Niklas again during the journey, and he said the same thing, "It's okay." I felt really bad and hung on to Tien Eu. When we were finally out (I hated the climbing-up part the most! I sort of slipped, thank God I had the rope and Tien Eu to grab on to), a bunch of us decided to go to town to lepak while the rest returned to their apartments. Those of us who stayed back... well, I was the only girl. The rest? Meng Kheng, Chun Yuen, Tien Eu, Joshua, Uncle David, Alex and three of Chun Yuen's friends from elsewhere. Plus me, of course. Ten of us. Meng Kheng bought us all ice cream, and we discussed the problem further. I want to take this time to say THANK YOU!!! to Meng Kheng (I don't if you're reading this, eM-Kay, since you only visit my blog once in a bloooooooooo moon) for being such a supportive friend. He's been on my side for a long time, and I feel I can trust what he says. Although I feel uncomfortable when people say I'm better than someone else at something, well, trusting Meng Kheng is something I've learned to do... and when he told me that Jessica was jealous of me because I was close to Niklas and because I was better than her at the stuff she was best at.

We went back and I spent some time playing Chor Tai Ti with the boys in Meng Kheng's apartment. Later, we headed over to my apartment because it was late, and my apartment was the only declared legal hang-out apartment (yes, it was in the camp book). We played Spin The Bottle, and the guys left at about 1:30 am. Hannah and I did some talking in the room. Hannah told me that Jessica asked her, "Do you like En or not?" and Hannah said, "I don't like her when she's bossy." And Jessica said, "So that's no lah?" And Hannah said, "Yes and no." And Jessica said, "Can't be yes and no. It's either yes or no. You like her?"---* So Hannah said, "Yes." Jessica said, "Oh. When I asked a lot of people they said no." And this is when Hannah told me, "Cheh. How many people's a lot?"

---*
This mark indicates Jessica's self-centredness. I would never dream of asking someone a question like that. She was pressuring Hannah into asking a tough question. Instantly, I felt this burning sort of... not hatred, more like dislike for Jessica because she had to take her anti-En feelings out on Hannah. And personally, I don't see how asking everyone whether or not they like me will help her achieve anything. It's like she's trying to gather some sort of army against me. I'm not trying to gather any armies against her. I do things naturally. I don't bug people to be on my side. I don't demand them to let things out. And then again, I don't really care if she asked all the youth in church and they all said "no". Let them dislike me. As far as I know, none of them have ever shown their dislike for me... not that I know of, at least.

5 June 2005 // Sunday
Today.

Servant placed third overall! Whoo hoo. Out of eight teams. We won the treasure hunt, by the way. Looks like all that running wasn't in vain. And what about Giver? Well, they were last. They claimed to be a very co-operative team, but I personally think that the ruin of their team was due to their leader - Niklas. It isn't that I don't like Niklas now, it's just that I felt he expected to much of his team. Too competitive. He got cranky. Speaking of cranky, I remember last night when Hannah and I were talking in the living room about Tien Eu getting scolded by Niklas... we were like, "Why so cranky? Gee... it's just a competition." And Jessica either couldn't stand to hear someone badmouthing Niklas, or she decided to choose that particular moment to put me down, because she said, "Everyone gets cranky what, even you, right? You should be quite competitive." And I felt a tad pissed, but I didn't show it. (You'd be surprised how much I've grown in the past year. I've learned to put up with all sorts of people, and I have become a much tougher person.) I sort of laughed, pretending I wasn't hurt, and said, "No lah. In fact, I'm always feeling really scared. I'll be like, looking at the other runners on the track and going, gaaaahhh.. I'm gonna lose, I'm so scared, my knees are buckling~" Which is true. And Jessica didn't look pleased as she went, "Sure or not? You wor..." Such a stupid thing to say. So who's this you person? Some other spirit? Someone in the third person? Like, PLEASE!

I decided to stop talking about the problem, and make the most out of my situation. I thought about what had happened. I couldn't hang around Niklas. So I started hanging around the other people. Net result? I made more friends, and I got to know the other people better. I'd never seen Joshua so nice. =) He was so nice to Hannah and I. He stopped for me when I got tired running through the jungle trail during the treasure hunt. He offered to help me climb up and help me down at the steep bits. He warned Hannah about roots and branches. He helped her climb over the overturned trees. I got to know another side of Tien Eu. I joked with him and was his partner in the Jungle Walk. I found out that he is a glutton and wins Chor Tai Ti only when he has a chicken burger with him. I became nicer to Meng Kheng. I found out how smart Chun Yuen really is. I got to know Alex. I got to know Alison and Emily. I talked to Jose and Miguel lots, and went bug-hunting with them. I gained so much. I found other sources of happiness. Watching Niklas from afar, I noticed numerous negative points about him. Then again, I'm in no position to judge him, because I've probably got loads of faults myself.

I grew up a lot! And after watching Darrell Scott's testimony regarding the Columbine event in which Rachel, his daughter was shot dead, I made several promises to myself today, which I am still holding firm. One is to stick by Hannah and Meng Kheng, no matter what happens, because I know that they are true friends. They don't have to stick up for me all the time... just being there to talk to me and listen to me and console me... well, that's enough to tell me that they really do care. The second is to not let Jessica down and to continually pray for our relationship to be amended - that God'll help me be strong as I try to patch things up. Another is that I'd try my best to be true to myself and God and live a godly life, and be like Rachel Scott, the girl who died so bravely for the Lord. It's scary, and it's all very difficult, but hey, life is all about challenges, and who says Christians have it easy?

Good Night.

wahoo.

Mon, 30 May 2005 16:40:30 GMT

I am back from Nishreen's house, where I spent several nights because I had no transport home from Times Square, where the National Scrabble Competition was held (note the capital letters =P ). Yep, if you remember well enough, both the U-15 and U-18 teams from CBN got into the national competition, and we were in Times Square on Saturday and Sunday, competing against the best teams from all over Malaysia - about 21 of them per category. On Saturday this lady called Poh Wan sent me there, and I was there VERY early. She wanted to get down with me but I insisted on getting down myself. So I did, and I went all the way up to the 6th floor to find I was the first CBN player to arrive. There was this other guy from VI who was already there. He smiled at me, but that could've been because I looked at him, and we all know it's polite to smile at people if they... well, you know, glance your way. Or so I think. It took the rest at least half an hour to arrive, and when they did, I was glad. The four teams that represented KL were Hersheys (CBN), Omega (Seri Hartamas), Seladang (VI) and Word Creators (SJI). WC got in on some wild card invitation. I didn't really think it mattered, even if some other people did make a big fuss out of it. Baby Seladang, VI's junior team, was there too (I really think Baby Seladang is like, the cutest name ever). As our luck would have it, we were up against SFI (St. Francis Institution) in the first round. Like, ARGH. They thrashed us (well, not too badly) and we wound up against some other strange school in the second round. This super-tall Punjabi dude called Sandeep beat me by a spread of 30, and we got kicked all the way back to the last table, where we were up against VI. This was really a blessing, because two of VI's U-18 players from the state competition were not playing that day (one was ill, and the other had been moved to the U-15 team). As I later discovered, this U-18 team of theirs was designed to lose. *shrugs* Beats me. Anyhow, I gave Jasvinderjit the thrashing of his life by beating him with a spread of +224. It wasn't fun at all. It was so easy to the extent that I didn't have fun playing.

Well, the games continued... I had fried noodles for lunch while the rest pigged out on Macca's... let's see, we played a total of six games that day. I lost to Veronica, and that put us on par because I beat her the last time. I was actually leading... well, by a bit, and she had the luck to put in BOXERS on a triple word square, and that's how she won the game. =/ I also met this guy from Johor called Vijay, who is such a fun guy to play against. He claims to be very honest (which I believe, for obvious reasons) and is... well, frank to the extent that you don't even have to challenge the words he plays... unless you're the type who memorises, like, every three-letter word on the word list, you know? But he's a really nice guy. =) Come to think of it, his whole team (Phantom Avengers) comprises a bunch of really sweet guys. The day after that I played with his school's other team, against this guy called Nirash, who is seriously freaky in the sense that he only cares about playing bingos. I kept going, "Look, chill, okay? You can't always bingo." But that was him, anyhow. And each time I played a word that got me a score of less than ten he'd suspect I was up up to something. That was dead annoying. I was like, "Why the hell d'you have to assume I'm up to anything? I'm not crazy about bingos like you are. Just accept the bloody fact that I can't place my tiles anywhere else." He's... I don't know. Not as talkative as Vijay, not as smart, and not as cheerful, but he's all right, I guess. Such a pity, I beat him by 69 points in the end. To think he played THREE bingos, and each time he did, I was still ahead of him by at least 20 points. Which isn't saying much but the fact that you don't need bingos to win a Scrabble game.

I got to play Jet Thye again! =) How fun. Anyway, I beat him again, and well, er, we tied with SJI, as usual. Sashvini got a thrashing, Nish lost by about 11 and Tennya and I did the major wallopping. Poor Alwin and JT. Anyhow, we ended up in the top 10 (I think), and we had a really great time finishing Sashvini's birthday cake (Chocolate Indulgence, from Secret Recipe). It was yummy. Oh, and I made loads of new friends, and that includes Mark from CHS, who's from my Physics class. (I must say, I was shocked to see him there) The guys from Baby Seladang are such sweeties. They were all so nice to me. Kennard, especially. He must've extended his hand to me at least ten times in the past few days. o.O Never missed the chance to talk to me after each games. Vijay was the same. He'd visit me after each game, mainly because he plays so much faster than I do. ^^;;

Oh well. It was a lot of fun. =) I'll be having my party tomorrow, about 30 or so people coming. Hope they'll mix well.

whee. i'm 16. =)

Sun, 22 May 2005 14:34:33 GMT

Yay. I've turned 16.
Sorry about the erm, lack of entries. Exams are still on and I haven't had the time to blog. Personally, I don't have much to say today, either, except that I am so cheesed off with Auntie Suat Chin's attitude towards the EMCYF musical. She is not behaving like a director should. She hasn't been giving us specific orders for rehearsals, she just leaves behind confusing messages some people know about and some people don't, and... well, that results in a lot of fussing and high-and-low hunting and a lot of crap. Yeah. I was bombarded all day (from midnight) with phone calls and messages from well-wishers. =P Gee. They really made my day. I went to church looking like I just won the lottery (Candice would say, "... like I'd just been bedded") but I am handicapped in that sense. LOL. Auntie Ruth remembered my birthday again... o.O Like, I must SO buy her a nice Christmas present this year-end. She got me this cute jumper she bought while she was on holiday in Hong Kong. I went shopping with Mum this evening. We went to 1 Utama (like I'd settle for elsewhere) and because I couldn't find Salabianca, we went straight to the 2nd floor of the new block, which you'll know (if you frequent 1-U) is the floor with MNG, Topshop, Miss Selfridge, Warehouse, Dorothy Perkins and Nafnaf. The floor below has FCUK, Mambo, DKNY, CK, BritishIndia, Benetton, Sisley, Ralph Lauren and some other stuff. See, that's why I love 1-U. It's branded. KLCC's classy too, but I haven't gotten my credit card yet, so no hope of shopping there. (Not to mention I absolutely despise the KLCC community. It's such a classy place with such uncivilised shoppers. Really. Dunhill and Prada and Armani Exchange are all... like, EMPTY.) I got me a new gypsy skirt from Topshop! And two tops from MNG, a green-and-orange camisole and a pink layered piece. I was actually looking for one of those summer slip-on dresses, but I couldn't find nice ones. I was like, WHY ARE ALL THE DRESSES SO DARNED LONG!? Really. They were all really long, and really heavy. I couldn't find any of the flowy, flowery ones. +__+

Oh well. Let's see. I've still got a couple of papers left, those'll last me till Friday. (>_<) On Tuesday the 31st I'll be celebrating my birthday. Personally, I wanted to do it on the 28th or the 29th but Scrabble nationals are then, so... yeah, I had to change the date. I think I over-invited. ^^;; There are nearly 50 people on my invite list, and at least 30 of them have confirmed they're coming. Whoopsie. There go the floorboards!

a short break from things. =)

Fri, 13 May 2005 11:46:50 GMT

*scratches head*
Min's right, something's wrong with Gmail. For some reason, it's blocking LJ messages. She posted a comment but I didn't get it. I mean, LJ didn't notify me. Maybe the notifications got classified as spam. ^^;; Ah well. I shouldn't even be online right now, guess I'll log off and go study Moral or something...

hawaiian ladies unite!

Sun, 08 May 2005 02:01:07 GMT

Needless to say, I had a blast at the AFS gala dinner yesterday night. Everything was… just about perfect. I don’t really care about the fact that my dress got away from me and someone happened to get a peek… hey, accidents happen! Besides, we’re all supposed to be open-minded people. I thank God, though, that someone wasn’t a guy. Heaven knows what I might be labeled as if… say, Vicky got that peek. It was silly, though. A bit of my sarong-dress got hooked on the chair and well… I shan’t elaborate. You’re going to be having all sorts of nasty thoughts, so let’s stop this foolishness. =P Other than that little accident, though, and some minor cases of clumsiness on my part, it was a great night.

I spent hours getting ready for the big night. I had nothing to wear… well, actually, I had two other gowns in shades of blue, but one was a complete replica of the green one Hamasaki Ayumi wore in the About You MV, and the other was tailor-made for me three years ago, when I was a tad chubbier. Naturally, I couldn’t show up in the Ayumi-dress with the billowy skirt, neither could I show up in an evening gown two sizes too big at the bust and waist. I ended up picking out a large sarong I’d bought from Cairns several years back – a pretty, blue, tie-dyed sarong with batik patterns of fish on it. I loved that sarong. My mum had taught me how to tie it up into a dress, so that’s exactly what I did. Brought the two ends to the front, crossed them and tied them at the nape of my neck. It looked quite pretty… but I had a spot of trouble getting the dress to fall nicely in front so I wouldn’t look fat from the side. It was quite a hectic few hours for me, just getting ready for that night’s event. I made myself up nicely, picked out my favourite heels and bag, and walked down proudly. My mum commented on the dress with a strange look. I had planned to bring along a shawl, but I only had a red one – I had given my cream one to Tai Yee last year.

Dad drove me to the Hyatt Saujana, where the dinner was being held. He dropped me off, and left me there while I looked around nervously for someone I might know. I felt very nervous. I was alone, and I was hoping my dress wouldn’t fall right off or tear or something. I felt like I was wearing a bath-towel. I gave Jess a ring, but her friend Mei Kwan picked up the phone and said Jessica was still up in her room changing, so I gave up and looked around for other people. As luck would have it, someone soon called my name and I turned to look. OMG. It was Haz. (Hazrina, Hazreena, gee, I actually don’t know how to spell it, but we all call her Haz, so that’s fine. =P) And… Victoria. For a moment I didn’t recognize Victoria, because she’d straightened her hair, but studying her face for a while longer I knew it was her. We laughed and chatted and everything, and commented on each other’s clothes. Haz wore a black pants suit (typical Haz, always in black) and Victoria wore this pretty periwinkle-blue boat-neck shirt-dress I’m starting to wish I owned too. Haz laughed and told me I looked so lost a while ago, and I went red. It’s an En thing. I always look lost when I attend functions on my own. Come on – this isn’t the first time someone’s said that about me… even Cheah said the same in one of my Friendster testimonials. At that moment, a bunch of exchange students went by (I think they might have been German or American) and Haz and I went totally ga-ga. I mean, literally… our jaws dropped and we were like, “OMG. Look. Cute guys.” =P

Not long after, Vicky and Soraya arrived together… in style? =P The three of us squealed and ran up to them. I had so many bags with me I couldn’t very well hug any of them, but Vicky gave me a big hug anyway. Aww. Vicky’s so nice. *^.^* Soraya looked the same too… she wasn’t wearing her tudung, and she looked a lot prettier in her blue get-up. (Look, trust me to know nuts about my own country’s traditional clothing and their names) Vicky wore a dark blue shirt and trousers. (We were all in blue because… well, we were asked to wear blue when we attended the dinner) We sat around and chatted a bit, and then… Jessica appeared in the doorway with her friend, Mei Kwan. She was wearing this white dress with patterns of blue flowers, and had a white flower in her hair. She looked very pretty. =) I told her that, and she said the same to me. She even gave me a flower to put in my hair so we’d look like sisters. Ha, ha. (CBN-ers will get what I’m talking about) But seriously, it wasn’t just the Ong factor. We were both dressed like… er, Hawaiian beach goers… though she looked like was going for a luau and I looked like I was some sort of air stewardess. ^^; We talked and laughed and talked some more… and Jessica ran off… and…

YC showed up. Trust me to forget the correct spelling of his name too. (Is it Yi Chung? Yi Choong? Yee Choong?) There was a lot of hugging again, and we got back to chattering excitedly. I heard that Yasmin’s now in Cornell. *gasp* I was like, WHOA! Cornell! That is so cool. I felt a little left out while the rest of them babbled on excitedly about stuff… I saw that coming. All of them were from the ASEAN 1 group, while I was from the IP-JPN group. None of my kakis came. I was on my own. The ASEAN 1 students were only in Japan for three weeks, while I was there for exactly seven. They attended the Summit event, while I was at the Christmas party in Obu-shi. Given that, we had very different experiences. They knew people from the Summit I didn’t; I knew people from the Obu gathering they didn’t, and so on. I was… pretty much the black lamb among them, as they talked about their past experiences and stuff.

Farah interviewed Jessica in a documenting of the night’s event, and we soon went in. Unfortunately, I was told that I had to shift tables because of… well, here’s the story. Jessica booked a whole table for ten, but there were eleven of us. Initially, Gaya said it would be all right to add another chair and plate to the table, but the hotel management refused to allow us to seat eleven at a table, so I had to be placed at a different table. But we weren’t told about this until the day itself, so there was a lot of fussing and… a whole lot of confusion; and some of them were trying to work things out so I’d be able to sit at the same table as them. In the end, I shifted tables and moved to Table 20, where I found out I was actually supposed to be at Table 22, but as no one was sitting at the place I occupied, I remained there and made friends with some of the people at that table, who happened to be returnees from last year’s trip to Japan. How nice. One of them was Li En, who was a very sweet girl and spoke Japanese fairly well. On my right was Farah, an AFS worker. Mori was present at the dinner, flitting around from table to table… but I doubt he remembered me at all. I saw a girl from the table of American returnees… who looked somewhat like Sabrina, the girl I met at the AFS interview two years back… but I couldn’t really remember what Sab looked like, anyway, so what the heck. The event commenced, and we listened to several speeches by the AFS directors from different countries – Japan, Germany, China, America… and watched a four-minute slideshow. I’d watched the slideshow before, so I didn’t really pay attention to it when it was shown last night.

A while later, Mei Kwan came to my table to ask me if I would like to go back to Table 18. Immediately I felt a pang of guilt. I told her, “What? No, it’s okay… are you sure? No, I’d feel bad! You’ll regret this… are you really sure?” She was gracious about it, and she nodded and smiled and said, “Hurry, before I change my mind!” So I got up, thanked her profusely and apologized once more, and ran back to join my friends at the original table. I must say, honestly, I felt bad for Mei Kwan the whole night. But apparently, she was having a good time at Table 20… oh well. Maybe she’s a very sociable girl.

We had to fill in some volunteer forms and send them in. YC was late, so Vicky sent in our forms for us, and as luck would have it, we were the third table to hand in our forms – that won us a little chocolate hamper (more like a chocolate basket, actually). Soon the food arrived. Our first dish was gado-gado, a sort of vegetable salad in peanut sauce. I say it was a sorry excuse for a vegetable salad. It consisted of lettuce, kangkung, taugeh and beancurd… topped with sweet peanut sauce. Holding our forks and spoons in both hands, we all said itadakimasu and dug in with much enthusiasm. It tasted all right, I suppose. It could have been a lot worse. We took a few pictures, and the next dish arrived – oxtail soup. It was quite oily, and I was immediately glad I’d fasted the whole day to save my appetite for dinner. The main course was served in a Malay-style buffet, and we all started helping each other by serving each other food. It was quite silly, really, come to think of it. It started off with me dumping rice on Jessica’s plate, and she reacted by thanking me and serving me chicken. This act of putting food on your neighbour’s plate went down the table and pretty soon we were all doing it for each other. I never got to put my own food on my own plate… oh, except the rice. =) I eat very little rice. In fact, I ate very little last night compared to everyone else. YC ate the most. Everyone asked for second helpings of rice, but not me. I didn’t take any second helpings.

We watched as several exchange students ascended the stage to sing Rasa Sayang. Personally, I think it was a really bad rendition of the much-loved Malaysian folk tune, because all I could hear was the clapping from the audience, and none of the singing. It paled in comparison to the banghra some other students performed later, which got the audience screaming and cheering madly. I was one of the madly cheering observers… they danced it quite well, actually. But there’s no denying we Malaysians do it better. Did I tell you we did the banghra in Tokyo during orientation a few years back? =) It was fun. Soon, the lucky draw began. It was my lucky day, or night. I’d never before won any lucky draws, but having a strange ticket number must have helped me win that Elektra waffle maker. The announcer said, “Now… this is a really strange number… it’s T20 E1!” And I was like, “Oh my goodness. That’s my ticket number.” And my table-mates all bugged me to hurry up and stand, so I got up and waved my ticket madly and ran to the front to claim my prize. Lots of people saw our table as a lucky one, for not long after, Victoria went up front to claim a punch bowl and YC got a… box. Well, one of those mystery boxes that contain goodness-knows-what. Even the uncles seated at the table behind us commented that we were winning a significant amount of stuff. =P

The highlight of night was a performance by our very own Malaysian Idol, Jaclyn Victor, whom everyone was, without a doubt, very pleased to see. I must admit, Jac has a fantastic voice. She should go international. She sang When I Fall In Love, Simply The Best and Gemilang, all of which mesmerized the audience. I too was captivated by her singing. After the performance, we immediately rushed out of the hall and ducked backstage to get her autograph and take pictures with her. As we found out, Jac is a really nice person, very down-to-earth and just like any of us. She attends Kepong Methodist Church (did you know that?). YC must have been feeling on top of the world when he took a picture with Jac – he looked too happy in my camera. ^^; Even he thought so. Anyhow, we went back into the hall, just in time to stand up and cheer when they called on the returnees of year 2003/2004. When the whole thing was over, we went out and started taking group pictures and whatnot, and I bought two black AFS shirts – one for me, and one for Vicky. I remember calling Vicky when I was in Nagoya (since Vicky went to Nagoya too). I was lucky in a sense that I called him on the day right before he left… he sounded quite sorry, since he was (apparently) hoping that we could go to town together or something. I was sorry too, but ah well. I got to go to town a few days later, with Emi, but it wasn’t a very fruitful trip, considering Suriya didn’t come along and I was having trouble talking to Emi in good Japanese. I felt… shy. ^^;;

I got some of my friends to scribble in my little book, before I had to leave for home. Jessica was supposed to hitch a ride with me, but she managed to get her parents to pick her up in the end, so we all bid each other farewell and left. Vicky and YC came with me – we sent Vicky to SS14 (I insisted on seeing him off at his doorstep instead of allowing him to walk home from Taylor’s College… I mean, what if he got mugged or something!?) and YC to Taman Tun. I had a fun time talking to all of them… Vicky is a downright smart ass who bagged 11 As, and YC is a Petronas scholar. Well~ I suppose I can’t exactly expect anything less from them, considering they were part of the ASEAN group. I talked to YC about going to college overseas, and he told me about applying for American universities. I mentioned a friend who’d been rejected by several universities albeit getting fantastic results and holding numerous positions in school, and YC told me just what I had expected was coming. I had always figured that it wasn’t just being president of a club that got you a place in… say, MIT. You had to do something outstanding – lead a campaign, maybe. Stand up for yours and other students’ rights. He told me that I had a great chance of getting into a lot of good places if I got good results… mainly because I’d been an exchange student. “It doesn’t sound like a big deal,” Shu Wei told me when I asked her about it, “But exchange students possess a lot of knowledge, experience and qualities regular students don’t. And that’s what makes you valuable to the university that selects you.” I thought about it for a while, and grinned to myself. I suddenly remembered what I’d said to Vicky before we left Hyatt Saujana. “Vicky, I’m so gonna get my 11A’s.”

Sounds a lot like what I told Li Jun not too long ago, when he asked me about celebrating straight A’s for SPM together (all hail the smarty-pants Li Jun). *grin* “I’m so gonna get straight A1’s. Then we can go out together.”

Pictures of last night's events...

Soraya & I... er, looking like flight attendants. =P

Jac V singing! o.O She was great.

My smile's kinda crappy here, ah what the heck. Like my flower? =P

I had to resize this a million and one times because the original was HUGE. +__+ Eheh. But I like this picture. I don't look too fat la at least. =)

sji trains sore losers.

Tue, 03 May 2005 08:09:36 GMT

The sore losers from SJI. Actually, I don't know if it was them who squealed to Mrs Yap that the CBN-ers played dirty during the Scrabble competition, but Sashvini's got a hunch it was them. They were, after all, the first to point out that we had word lists on our laps during the game. But they were also quick to dismiss the issue after we answered, "We're not referring to the lists." As it is, someone told Mrs Yap, and she informed Mrs Raj, who reproached us with a tone of austere consternation. We were very sore this morning after finding out what Mrs Yap had told Mrs Raj, and Sashvini kept calling the Johannians sore losers. I don't know what actually happened. I'm just glad no action's been taken against us, like disqualifying us from going for the nationals or something. We're representing KL, and that's that.

Today I went for the interclass Spelling Bee and had to give up my crown (which I've been keeping for 2 years now) to Cheah Li Ling, who was lucky enough to get insanely easy words to spell, like peevish and indubitably, while I got strange terms like asphyxiate and gonorrhoea (which I spelt wrongly by accidentally missing out an "r"). It was so biased. I kicked up a fuss and let my ire wash over the Bee-masters Sashvini and Ada, who obviously had no idea what the words they were presenting meant. I was like, "You are so unfair. When this is over I will pose you two with words to spell, and you will spell them correctly, or you will be labeled as stupid, inconsiderate and thick-headed." And when "larceny" was misspelled by someone, I blew up at them, saying, "You people are horrible! Do reporters use the word larceny!? No! Do you use the word larceny!? NO! You say, I've been robbed. You don't say, I've been larcened!! You give me that bloody word list of yours and I tell you, you won't be able to spell a single word I ask you to! Death to all pengawas pusat sumber!" And I was positively fuming. They weren't being fair to any of us. In the second round itself, 15 participants got kicked out in a row. I mean, HEL-LO! All of us were like the English scholars of CBN. And we were denied the crown!? Okay. At least I fought diplomatically, and in an intellectual manner. I debated with them. I argued on proper raison d'etre. I wasn't like little Annette, who stormed out in a huff when she was disqualified, who slammed the door behind her as she fumed out.

I brought my GIRLS and KIREI magazines to school today, to show Sashvini and Jesvin. They had a fine time flipping through them. I know Lali liked the GIRLS magazine best, because she held on to it for a loooong time. Sashvini loved looking through the hairstyles in the KIREI magazine. Did I tell you I'm going to perm my hair at the end of the year? That's why I'm growing it long. So I can curl the ends or something in November or December. Ah, and I have started fasting again. Yep - I've been pigging out lately, and my weight isn't exactly pleasing to me, so... eheh, it's back to fasting for me. It's the only way I'll be able to keep from over eating any time. =P

the word wizzes.

Sat, 30 Apr 2005 12:13:40 GMT

Before you start giving me a long lecture on how to spell words properly, let me tell you that "wiz" and "whiz" mean just about the same thing, except that "wiz" is also short for "wizard", which goes to show that not only are the people I will be talking about word experts, they are also masters at sending people packing in any competition involving word games. I, for one, was part of U-18(A) CBN team (a.k.a the word wizzes, which formed the team Hersheys) that bagged second place at the state Scrabble tournament today. Winning along with me were Sashvini, Nishreen and Tennya, all of whom, I am glad to say, played exceptionally well today... except Tennya, who, in playing against Dinesh for the third time, lost... the only game she'd lost today. We'd planned well, and we stuck with our old strategy of keeping Tennya as 4th player in order to widen our spread with every game we played. As the 3rd player, my job was also to thrash my opponents as badly as I could, while Sashvini and Nishreen (1st / 2nd players respectively) were required to try their best to win their games, or lose by the smallest spread possible. It worked, except by the third game my brain was so tired that I lost to Sharon Tan from SMK Sri Desa Perdana (or is it Desa Sri Perdana?) twice. How annoying. Anyway... er, let me tell you about today's tournament in... further detail.

I arrived later than Nishreen, surprisingly. I found her somewhere near the upper classrooms of Catholic High School, reprimanding Tennya for giving her dad wrong directions to the school. She was lucky I called her in the morning to find out where she was, or she would have gone straight to Assunta Hospital. I was positively shaking when I walked past the other participants. I saw Fang Hai, Rainier, Alvin and a few other familiar faces, one of whom happened to be Suk Yein from CHS, whom I'd defeated badly last year. In the first game, we were placed at the last table (what an insult to us), pitted against Setapak High School. Strangely (or fortunately) enough, our opponents never showed up... all but one Indian guy who claimed to be SHS' first player, Arvinderjit Singh... a sorry excuse for a first player, I must say, as he lost to Sashvini by a spread of 220. I watched his game as he and Sash played. He's a lousy player. Keeps opening spaces for Sash. Nishreen and I were delighted. We got an advantage no other school got, because we beat Setapak High by a spread of 370 (50 for each player that walked over, and 220 from Sash). The other schools that subsequently met Setapak High only won by 200 points (default) as the Arvinder imposter left immediately after the first game. I suppose he saw no point in sticking around playing on his own and losing badly. Apparently, his team mates actually came in the morning, but left promptly after that. I have no idea why. In my opinion, Setapak High's got quite a number of formidable players... one of whom is Rainier, who beat me by a spread of about 150 last year. He attended the tournament too, as an observer.

In the second round we met with St. John's Institution... when I heard we would be against them I was literally shaking from head to toe. SJI has a reputation in Scrabble, and well, they've always been regarded as classy players who never give in to their opponents, especially girls. My opponent, Jit (that's his middle name... oh my goodness, I actually forgot his name. This is the fourth time already. o_O) had, apparently beat Alvin, and hearing that made me very scared. Jit's a really quiet guy, and he hardly talked at all during the game. He was soooooo cute when he asked me to write my name for him because he wasn't sure if he'd gotten the spelling right. I surmised he was new to the game of Scrabble, since he wasn't all that great at making 2 or 3-letter words and he had a tendency to open spaces for me, though he was a relatively cautious player. We tied with SJI, two wins, two losses, but our spread was higher, so we moved one table up and met Desa Perdana, a team of very jolly players consisting of three guys and one girl, all of whom were my age... no, wait, the girl was 15. The game ended in a tie as well. Sashvini and I lost, by 10 points and 8 points respectively. I only lost because I was overtime by three minutes. 10 points were taken off for every overtime minute. I should've just passed all my turns instead of wasting time. Because we tied, we were forced to go against them in the next round (what a stroke of luck... NOT!).

I felt very pissed off after losing to Sharon in the third game, and losing to her a second time really got me all hot and bothered. Because we tied yet again with 2 wins and 2 losses, both Hersheys and Vosians were pushed to the 2nd table while VI and Seri Hartamas progressed to the first table. Tennya, Nishreen and Sashvini were nagging at me to win this round with Sharon, so I tried my more-than-level best to beat her, and thank God, I did, with a spread of +43. I was overjoyed. Sharon was glad I'd won, too, because it meant her team wouldn't have to play CBN again in the next round. I was happy that we wouldn't have to put up with Desa Perdana's annoying calls of "OH NO! I'm geddin owned!". We resumed our place at the first table in the next round, the final round, against Seri Hartamas. Omega, the Hartamas team was called, had 13.5 wins while we had 13. We were half a point behind them. We needed to win 3 games to become the champions of the tournament. We played, and played, and played... and I was literally sweating near the end of the game, not only because of the weather (yes, it was sweltering hot today, I swear!) but because my brain was seriously overheated. I won my last game, much to my delight. My opponent, Veronica Tan, was a rather snooty girl who didn't seem to like me very much. She kept throwing me dirty looks and talked in a very... I don't know, stand-offish way. I was glad to see Yat Sin (who came to our table and ACTUALLY REMEMBERED MY NAME!!! XD ) and (God forbid!) Rainier, who was quite the gentleman today. I felt horrible for having thought of him as an arrogant bastard before this - really, he's quite a nice guy, just a little quiet. =)

Anyhow, because we tied with Seri Hartamas, they finished with a total of 15.5 wins and us with 15. The U-15 team, led by Anne and made up of Mary, Valerie and Danusha, emerged the victors of their category. Kennard was also there (yay!), so I had more people to talk to. It was fun going from table to table, room to room, looking for familiar faces and old opponents or rivals I could converse with. Suk Yein was there, but I doubt she remember(s/ed) me. I looked for Xiang Li but I couldn't find him. Wai Kit wasn't there either. Aw. Ah, getting to the end of it all, I am proud to say that two CBN teams will be going to the national finals in Berjaya Times Square next month, where we will pit our skills against the country's best Scrabble players. I hope to meet Han Meng again, from SMK St. Francis Xavier of Melaka, who proved to be a very skilled player and close rival. A nice guy too. I wouldn't mind playing against him once more. =)

Oh yes. Before I forget.

I GOT FULL MARKS FOR MY ORAL EXAM!!! This is my English oral exam. Sashvini and I presented a dialogue on under-age clubbing and drinking, in which we were concerned sisters of two girls involved in excessive drinking and clubbing sprees. I created the script myself, and Puan Sumathi liked it a lot (as Sashvini inferred) because she was smiling throughout the entire presentation. She grinned all the wider when we got to our little (though lame) pun about drinking beer and growing so fat you could break the bed or wreck the doorway. Later she told us it was very well done (I nearly leaped for joy) and that she wanted us to do another presentation in front of an officer from the Ministry of Education who'll be coming to our school next week to do some sort of assessment of selected pairs from certain schools in the Federal Territory. Since we had full marks and were therefore under the "excellent" category, Pn Sumathi thought it would be good for us to present something on a piece of literature, maybe about its characters, or its plot... something like that. =) Well. I'm working on it. The piece is due Wednesday. Wish me luck!